Thursday, May 19, 2005

Oh No - You DIDN'T!

I was at the gym a few weeks ago. This is the kind of stuff I used to post. Not me going to the gym, but the thing that happened to me, that's what I used to write about. So umm, yeah, that was a pointless introduction. Anyhow, forget all that. I was at the gym a few weeks ago. They have this rule, that you can only sign up for thirty minutes on a machine. And you have to put your initials on this list and all, so it's pretty strict. That's all fine, but what happens sometimes, is people get impatient and start to hang around your machine before your time's up, just so that they get on it at exactly the moment they signed up for it. I really don't like these people. I know what time I have left, and trust me - TRUST ME - I'm not staying on this thing a moment past when I have to, so give me a break.

Anyway, usually I get pretty annoyed, but I get over myself, because I only have like two minutes left so I just go with it and then glare at the person when I'm done. Well, this time, I had about thirteen minutes left. And this woman was staring right at me, tapping her hands and her feet all over the place, looking real impatient. So I sort of wave over to her, to get her attention to tell her that I still have thirteen minutes left, but she doesn't even react - she just keeps on staring.

Well. This just seemed wrong to me.

So I kept going until I had about ten minutes, and I thought, she's not leaving. She's just staring, staring, staring. This was unacceptable to me. So I stopped, and waved over (no response), and said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry, but the thing is, I still have, like, ten minutes on this machine, and so are you sure you have the right machine, because, umm, I just get wicked uncomfortable with people waiting around, especially when I have so much time left."

That should do it.

I can't even introduce her response properly. So here it is:

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She sounds so sweet and apologetic that I almost feel bad for a moment, and then she says what makes me look around to make sure Lucifer isn't waiting to collect my soul: "It's just," she says, "I'm blind, and" (You know what, hold up a second, take that in. She's BLIND) "and I'm waiting for my friend, but if you want me to move, I will..."

Umm, no, that's okay.

When I tell this story, people ask what I did. Some people think I should have just used the treadmill runner to hang myself. Others asked if I left the gym to hide from this humiliation, which prompted a worse response from me ("Why? She didn't know what I looked like or anything"), and then a few asked how I could even say such a thing to a blind person in the first place, which prompted an even worse reponse from me ("I didn't think about a blind person being at a gym.")

Anyway, the general reaction has been, "Oh my god, you did NOT do that!"

And to that, I can only say that yes, yes I did.