A few things...
1. I have a huge problem with people who keep stuffed animals on the back of their car, so that they face the people driving behind them. Is this display for my enjoyment? Do these people REALLY think that I want to drive behind Muffin and Scrunchy, or whatever they probably named their lame-o stuffed animals? I don't get it. Is it so that when they look in their rear-view mirror, they see the googly eyes of their stuffed cats and bears looking lovingly back at them? If there's one thing I can't deal with (ha, ONE!), it's definitely these ridiculous people. I don't say anything about the dice hanging from the mirror (can be cute), and I don't care about the hula girl (I mean, sure, whatever), but this funny farm crap? Not okay.
2. Landon, on "The Inferno" is insanely hot. Sometimes, I wonder why people decided to put such a show like the Inferno on TV. I get tired of all these freaks, acting like they're real celebrities for eating worms and moving cows around a beach. I mean, sure, Paris Hilton's career makes a good case for these guys becoming A-list stars in their own right, but still. I have an issue when people tell me that Julie the Mormon should be a VIP. Yeah. Absolutely not. (Julie, by the way, is the worst MTV celebrity ever. She doesn't get her audience. I love how she pretends to be all into loving God and being religious, and yet, she's on THE INFERNO. These people kill me.) Anyway, my point is, whenever I think, hmm, why does MTV feed these morons with their own television show, I take a good look at Landon and I thank whoever decided to continue with the show. I'm just glad they aren't testing for steroids on the show, because my guess is the Miz, formerly scrawny Mike on Real World Back to New York, would be sent back to Ohio and have to continue his life as a college band geek. Sometimes I think they should do a "Before they were washed-up reality stars..." and show us what they looked like in their audition tapes. You'd be suprised at how much this experience changes people. Look at Genesis, the first memorable lesbian from the Boston season. She wasn't real skinny or really made-up, but on the huge reunion show, she came with her wife and she looked like Barbie. Nobody would have recognized her. You know what might be the best part about this whole show concept? You could look at the people who didn't change at all. Take Montana, for instance, also from the Boston season, and possibly the ugliest Real World-er ever. I'm convinced that the only reason she was cast was because this was the time that the show was still trying to be a legitimate documentary thing, rather than a bad extended version of "Blind Date." This was before the mandatory hot tub, gay guy, black guy, lesbian, hottest guy ever, and hot good girl in every episode. Anyway, they would show a before and after pic of her and it would be: Guess What?! STILL Ugly! Same thing with Beth. Possibly the funniest moment ever was when she told Puck she wanted to be a model. Puck looked at her like she was insane and told her she as too fat and her skin was too bad to be a model. I wonder how someone recovers from that. Anyway, she was back this season in the Inferno, just as crazy and ugly as ever. These would be the moments of the show. I wonder if they make "Least Improved" Trophies. I have to find those someday. Can you imagine the possibilities?
3. I know a girl who pants when she talks. Sometimes, guys think when you say that a girl "pants," that's hot. This is not that kind of pant. Not even close. Picture your grandmother out of breath. Now try to think about what a fat Steve Urkel smoker laugh would be, and you have the panting.
(I know, it's horrifying.)
4. People have been asking me about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I don't really think much about it, except this: I think that she will start making better career choices. Before, Chris Klein had to go with her to everything, and because he was in the absolute worst movie ever - Here on Earth, with the worst actress ever, Leelee Sobieski (I mean, Leelee?!) - he didn't mind sitting through all her Dawson's Creek garbage. But I have a hard time imagining Tom Cruise sitting through "First Daughter" with a straight face. If anything, I think we've seen the last of Ms. Holmes' awkward half-smile a la Drew Barrymore. I'll take it.
2. Landon, on "The Inferno" is insanely hot. Sometimes, I wonder why people decided to put such a show like the Inferno on TV. I get tired of all these freaks, acting like they're real celebrities for eating worms and moving cows around a beach. I mean, sure, Paris Hilton's career makes a good case for these guys becoming A-list stars in their own right, but still. I have an issue when people tell me that Julie the Mormon should be a VIP. Yeah. Absolutely not. (Julie, by the way, is the worst MTV celebrity ever. She doesn't get her audience. I love how she pretends to be all into loving God and being religious, and yet, she's on THE INFERNO. These people kill me.) Anyway, my point is, whenever I think, hmm, why does MTV feed these morons with their own television show, I take a good look at Landon and I thank whoever decided to continue with the show. I'm just glad they aren't testing for steroids on the show, because my guess is the Miz, formerly scrawny Mike on Real World Back to New York, would be sent back to Ohio and have to continue his life as a college band geek. Sometimes I think they should do a "Before they were washed-up reality stars..." and show us what they looked like in their audition tapes. You'd be suprised at how much this experience changes people. Look at Genesis, the first memorable lesbian from the Boston season. She wasn't real skinny or really made-up, but on the huge reunion show, she came with her wife and she looked like Barbie. Nobody would have recognized her. You know what might be the best part about this whole show concept? You could look at the people who didn't change at all. Take Montana, for instance, also from the Boston season, and possibly the ugliest Real World-er ever. I'm convinced that the only reason she was cast was because this was the time that the show was still trying to be a legitimate documentary thing, rather than a bad extended version of "Blind Date." This was before the mandatory hot tub, gay guy, black guy, lesbian, hottest guy ever, and hot good girl in every episode. Anyway, they would show a before and after pic of her and it would be: Guess What?! STILL Ugly! Same thing with Beth. Possibly the funniest moment ever was when she told Puck she wanted to be a model. Puck looked at her like she was insane and told her she as too fat and her skin was too bad to be a model. I wonder how someone recovers from that. Anyway, she was back this season in the Inferno, just as crazy and ugly as ever. These would be the moments of the show. I wonder if they make "Least Improved" Trophies. I have to find those someday. Can you imagine the possibilities?
3. I know a girl who pants when she talks. Sometimes, guys think when you say that a girl "pants," that's hot. This is not that kind of pant. Not even close. Picture your grandmother out of breath. Now try to think about what a fat Steve Urkel smoker laugh would be, and you have the panting.
(I know, it's horrifying.)
4. People have been asking me about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I don't really think much about it, except this: I think that she will start making better career choices. Before, Chris Klein had to go with her to everything, and because he was in the absolute worst movie ever - Here on Earth, with the worst actress ever, Leelee Sobieski (I mean, Leelee?!) - he didn't mind sitting through all her Dawson's Creek garbage. But I have a hard time imagining Tom Cruise sitting through "First Daughter" with a straight face. If anything, I think we've seen the last of Ms. Holmes' awkward half-smile a la Drew Barrymore. I'll take it.
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