The Oscar Recap
Some random notes while watching the Oscars:
I forgot what time they started and so I missed Chris Rock's opening monologue, which was the part of the show I had wanted to see the most. This stuff always happens to me. I wait around, counting down the minutes until the show starts and I make sure I've cleared my schedule to watch this stuff, and then I totally forget what I'm doing and I show up twenty minutes late AND after Morgan Freeman's acceptance speech. Ugh.
I know that all presenters get the same gift basket, but I think that if you have to give out a crappy award, then you should get a few extra goodies in your basket just for that. I mean, they have these people introducing "Best Sound Mixing." The only thing worse than introducing these awards was being the poor recipient who had to give the acceptance speech from the audience. Seriously, can they send a more obvious message that this award doesn't matter and nobody wants to see it?
On an extended note, I can't deal with these awards nobody cares about. I would so much rather see an awards show with just the major awards, acting and directing or whatever, and then more Chris Rock stand-up. Is anbody thinking this is a bad idea? What would you rather listen to? Chris Rock making fun of Jude Law, or some guy accept his award for Best Boom Operator?
Just once, I'd like someone who says, "Wow, I can't even begin to thank everyone," to actually not begin to thank everyone.
The song choice "Learn to Be Lonely" was the most depressing part of the Oscars, even more depressing than seeing Johnny Depp looking like Willy Wonka on crack. I mean, the lyrics were just ridiculously depressingly sad and I felt like they should have run those Zoloft ads afterwards for all the women who were at those parties where they proclaim that it's "girls night" so they can chow down. That, by the way, I never understood. How can anybody watch the Oscars and see Hilary Swank's backless dress and then think, "well, it is GIRLS night, so I guess I can have that 20th chicken wing"?? Probably the same way these women can convince themselves that it is a special occasion by calling it "girls night," when really, for these women, every night is girls night.
I'm not into these speeches where the winners thank everyone and tell everybody that they were just these simple folks with a dream and a big trailer, and they made it big. It's as though they're telling folks that you can be from a trailer park, go to the local Wal Mart talent contest, and bam! you're in Hollywood with your own personal assistant. Now, seriously, isn't that a bad idea for a message to send? I think so. I'd rather Hilary Swank get up there and say, "Yeah, I made it, but it was hard work. You guys should concentrate on a smaller goal. Like a GED." I know it sounds rough, but really, I would rather have Billie Jane Wy-Trash focusing on real goals, like getting a home without wheels, than spending her days practicing her Oscar acceptance speech. Just a thought.
They have the "speed it up/shut it up" music for a reason. Granted, I get that it's a significant moment in these people's lives and Clint Eastwood deserves his thirty-second love fest. I even liked Hilar Swank's final words to him. Touching. But I'm just kind of annoyed about the whole thing already, because so many people use the extension after they don't make the most of the time they've just had. If Hilary had cut out her whole trailer park bit, she could have written a book on Clint Eastwood. That's what happens.
Did Tom Cruise really listen to that for two years, or did he hire an interpreter?
And back to Clint Eastwood for a moment: it took me the whole show to figure out that the woman next to him was his wife, not his daughter. There's a problem with that.
As a post Oscar note, I was watching the Oprah Oscar show and she had Chris Rock as a guest. So he's out there and she says to him, "The one thing that didn't work for me was the Catherine Zeta-Jones bit." Oprah thinks that she owns everything, doesn't she? I mean, is there ANYTHING she thinks can happen without her weighing in? I just think it's ridiculous that she has to deem everything good or bad according to the gospel of Oprah. You don't see her guests coming on saying, "Yeah, you've had a good career, but the one thing that didn't work for me was that whole 'Beloved' movie." No. Why? Because politeness, that's why.
Renee Zellweger did something to her face, so that it just scrunches up all the time. She's constantly walking around as though someone shot off a rubberband and it got caught streched out on her face. That makes absolutely no sense. But then again, neither does her new mask.
I feel bad for the dead folks whose pictures don't get any applause.
I used to think it was impossible for men to mess up their outfit for these awards shows, but then I saw Johnny Depp and Robin Williams.
I forgot what time they started and so I missed Chris Rock's opening monologue, which was the part of the show I had wanted to see the most. This stuff always happens to me. I wait around, counting down the minutes until the show starts and I make sure I've cleared my schedule to watch this stuff, and then I totally forget what I'm doing and I show up twenty minutes late AND after Morgan Freeman's acceptance speech. Ugh.
I know that all presenters get the same gift basket, but I think that if you have to give out a crappy award, then you should get a few extra goodies in your basket just for that. I mean, they have these people introducing "Best Sound Mixing." The only thing worse than introducing these awards was being the poor recipient who had to give the acceptance speech from the audience. Seriously, can they send a more obvious message that this award doesn't matter and nobody wants to see it?
On an extended note, I can't deal with these awards nobody cares about. I would so much rather see an awards show with just the major awards, acting and directing or whatever, and then more Chris Rock stand-up. Is anbody thinking this is a bad idea? What would you rather listen to? Chris Rock making fun of Jude Law, or some guy accept his award for Best Boom Operator?
Just once, I'd like someone who says, "Wow, I can't even begin to thank everyone," to actually not begin to thank everyone.
The song choice "Learn to Be Lonely" was the most depressing part of the Oscars, even more depressing than seeing Johnny Depp looking like Willy Wonka on crack. I mean, the lyrics were just ridiculously depressingly sad and I felt like they should have run those Zoloft ads afterwards for all the women who were at those parties where they proclaim that it's "girls night" so they can chow down. That, by the way, I never understood. How can anybody watch the Oscars and see Hilary Swank's backless dress and then think, "well, it is GIRLS night, so I guess I can have that 20th chicken wing"?? Probably the same way these women can convince themselves that it is a special occasion by calling it "girls night," when really, for these women, every night is girls night.
I'm not into these speeches where the winners thank everyone and tell everybody that they were just these simple folks with a dream and a big trailer, and they made it big. It's as though they're telling folks that you can be from a trailer park, go to the local Wal Mart talent contest, and bam! you're in Hollywood with your own personal assistant. Now, seriously, isn't that a bad idea for a message to send? I think so. I'd rather Hilary Swank get up there and say, "Yeah, I made it, but it was hard work. You guys should concentrate on a smaller goal. Like a GED." I know it sounds rough, but really, I would rather have Billie Jane Wy-Trash focusing on real goals, like getting a home without wheels, than spending her days practicing her Oscar acceptance speech. Just a thought.
They have the "speed it up/shut it up" music for a reason. Granted, I get that it's a significant moment in these people's lives and Clint Eastwood deserves his thirty-second love fest. I even liked Hilar Swank's final words to him. Touching. But I'm just kind of annoyed about the whole thing already, because so many people use the extension after they don't make the most of the time they've just had. If Hilary had cut out her whole trailer park bit, she could have written a book on Clint Eastwood. That's what happens.
Did Tom Cruise really listen to that for two years, or did he hire an interpreter?
And back to Clint Eastwood for a moment: it took me the whole show to figure out that the woman next to him was his wife, not his daughter. There's a problem with that.
As a post Oscar note, I was watching the Oprah Oscar show and she had Chris Rock as a guest. So he's out there and she says to him, "The one thing that didn't work for me was the Catherine Zeta-Jones bit." Oprah thinks that she owns everything, doesn't she? I mean, is there ANYTHING she thinks can happen without her weighing in? I just think it's ridiculous that she has to deem everything good or bad according to the gospel of Oprah. You don't see her guests coming on saying, "Yeah, you've had a good career, but the one thing that didn't work for me was that whole 'Beloved' movie." No. Why? Because politeness, that's why.
Renee Zellweger did something to her face, so that it just scrunches up all the time. She's constantly walking around as though someone shot off a rubberband and it got caught streched out on her face. That makes absolutely no sense. But then again, neither does her new mask.
I feel bad for the dead folks whose pictures don't get any applause.
I used to think it was impossible for men to mess up their outfit for these awards shows, but then I saw Johnny Depp and Robin Williams.
<< Home