3 Summer Suckfests
Maybe it's me, but people are dumb and annoying. Take the following:
1. I worked at an event this weekend, where the company sponsoring the event's motto quickly went from the happy/carefree "Do What You Like/Like What You Do" to "You Have Nothing We Like/We Like Nothing You're Doing for Us." What was supposed to be one of these carnival-like days at the park, with fun themed booths and events scattered for fans to enjoy, turned into a full-fledged clusterfuck. Lines for food got so bad that people ended up leaving the event, angrily telling me on the way out that I had personally ruined their day/weekend/summer/LIFE because I couldn't get them chicken fingers fast enough. People were upset that they couldn't get a picture with Manny Ramirez, and they were unimpressed with my reason why not ("Umm, ma'am, he's in Detroit? They're playing? A game?"); they were frustrated that only pre-registered guests could compete in the "athletic" events like seed-spitting ("You know, sir, that's a great point. You're going to want to talk to one of the company's volunteers who are in charge of the participation." "Why can't you just make it happen?" "We have no control over those events, we're literally renting out the building, so we're here to help with tickets, security, and general facility issues." "I thought you guys make the magic happen." "Techincally, that's Disney, sir." That ended with an angry stomp-away.) But this brings me to the biggest factor in the clusterfuck: the volunteers.
As anyone who actually works an event will tell you, the company "volunteers" easily either make or break your day. The thing is, most companies have about five-hundred too many volunteers. They send out this general "We're going to need all the help we can get!" email missives, and all these goons respond who think the day is going to be getting free admission to a semi-cool event, getting free food and free t-shirts, and hanging out all day. These are the bad volunteers. Sometimes, companies correctly figure that they'll need a limited number of volunteers, they get good people, and things get done. Well, this event obviously was stocked with the first group of twits. Here's what happens when you get every stupid moron in the greater city-area to volunteer for your event: everyone shows up, takes all your free shit, and does absolutely nothing. Well, absolutely nothing except - and here's the catch! - go on a massive power-trip because they think they have some sort of power bestowed upon them through their cheap-o volunteer t-shirt. I swear, slap on a Hanes t-shirt with the word "Crew" on the back, and suddenly these people feel like they're a step below God.
One woman told me I couldn't go in a "restricted area." "Oh, you can't go there," she told me. Not even an "excuse me, but..." introduction. Just the old "You Can't." "Is there a problem?" I asked her. Nicely.
"It's restricted."
"Oh, I know. I work here." I showed her my ID.
"Yeah, but only volunteers can go here. It's a restricted area."
Okay, Miss High and Mighty with Bad Humidity Hair. "Umm, this area's actually for STAFF and volunteers." I go to move past her.
"Says who?" Yes, she actually said "says who."
"Says me." (Is there any other response to this? I don't think so.)
2. At the same event, a family came over to me and told me that someone had promised them a private tour of the park. I tried to track down the person, but given that it was a weekend when the team was away, this wasn't happening. They weren't pleased about this, and I could understand that. So I spent about fifteen minutes trying to think of a way to find someone to give them a cool tour of the park, a tour that would sort of measure up to the private tour that takes you close to the field, etc. I'm trying to think about finding someone to walk them to the key cool parts of the park, maybe get them a view of the trophy. The family sees me trying to figure something out, and finally, after I apologetically offer them the cheapened version of the tour, the father comes out with this: "Oh, that's okay. We were in for a tour earlier this week with one of the players. He walked us out from the bullpen. We got some autographs and got to go behind the wall, sign it." He went on for about five minutes about this "tour." "We were just wondering if we'd missed anything, that's all."
Umm, SIR?! The next time you come up to me and ask me about a private tour, maybe you should mention that the "tour" you've already had pretty much will blow any other "tour" out of the freakin water. Can you imagine if I'd been like, "Oh, yeah, go take a walk to see the right field roof." You've been behind the wall! You've been in the clubhouse and bullpen WITH one of the players! What more do you want?! What could you have missed, sir? Would you like someone to give you a tour of the field while the game is in play? Really?!
3. Rachael Ray is a loser. Today on her show, she featured these "Clean up Real Quick" tips and the tip was to get bins that you can shove your crap in when the doorbell rings. Wow, Rache, thanks, my life is changed! The weird thing is that she kept saying how she'd invented this tip. Oh really? You think you're the only person who stores all her mess in boxes when company comes? NO! You're just the only person who stores all her mess in boxes when company comes and is narcissistic enough to think that she's the only one who's thought of it and thus has to have a national television show to showcase her talents.
1. I worked at an event this weekend, where the company sponsoring the event's motto quickly went from the happy/carefree "Do What You Like/Like What You Do" to "You Have Nothing We Like/We Like Nothing You're Doing for Us." What was supposed to be one of these carnival-like days at the park, with fun themed booths and events scattered for fans to enjoy, turned into a full-fledged clusterfuck. Lines for food got so bad that people ended up leaving the event, angrily telling me on the way out that I had personally ruined their day/weekend/summer/LIFE because I couldn't get them chicken fingers fast enough. People were upset that they couldn't get a picture with Manny Ramirez, and they were unimpressed with my reason why not ("Umm, ma'am, he's in Detroit? They're playing? A game?"); they were frustrated that only pre-registered guests could compete in the "athletic" events like seed-spitting ("You know, sir, that's a great point. You're going to want to talk to one of the company's volunteers who are in charge of the participation." "Why can't you just make it happen?" "We have no control over those events, we're literally renting out the building, so we're here to help with tickets, security, and general facility issues." "I thought you guys make the magic happen." "Techincally, that's Disney, sir." That ended with an angry stomp-away.) But this brings me to the biggest factor in the clusterfuck: the volunteers.
As anyone who actually works an event will tell you, the company "volunteers" easily either make or break your day. The thing is, most companies have about five-hundred too many volunteers. They send out this general "We're going to need all the help we can get!" email missives, and all these goons respond who think the day is going to be getting free admission to a semi-cool event, getting free food and free t-shirts, and hanging out all day. These are the bad volunteers. Sometimes, companies correctly figure that they'll need a limited number of volunteers, they get good people, and things get done. Well, this event obviously was stocked with the first group of twits. Here's what happens when you get every stupid moron in the greater city-area to volunteer for your event: everyone shows up, takes all your free shit, and does absolutely nothing. Well, absolutely nothing except - and here's the catch! - go on a massive power-trip because they think they have some sort of power bestowed upon them through their cheap-o volunteer t-shirt. I swear, slap on a Hanes t-shirt with the word "Crew" on the back, and suddenly these people feel like they're a step below God.
One woman told me I couldn't go in a "restricted area." "Oh, you can't go there," she told me. Not even an "excuse me, but..." introduction. Just the old "You Can't." "Is there a problem?" I asked her. Nicely.
"It's restricted."
"Oh, I know. I work here." I showed her my ID.
"Yeah, but only volunteers can go here. It's a restricted area."
Okay, Miss High and Mighty with Bad Humidity Hair. "Umm, this area's actually for STAFF and volunteers." I go to move past her.
"Says who?" Yes, she actually said "says who."
"Says me." (Is there any other response to this? I don't think so.)
2. At the same event, a family came over to me and told me that someone had promised them a private tour of the park. I tried to track down the person, but given that it was a weekend when the team was away, this wasn't happening. They weren't pleased about this, and I could understand that. So I spent about fifteen minutes trying to think of a way to find someone to give them a cool tour of the park, a tour that would sort of measure up to the private tour that takes you close to the field, etc. I'm trying to think about finding someone to walk them to the key cool parts of the park, maybe get them a view of the trophy. The family sees me trying to figure something out, and finally, after I apologetically offer them the cheapened version of the tour, the father comes out with this: "Oh, that's okay. We were in for a tour earlier this week with one of the players. He walked us out from the bullpen. We got some autographs and got to go behind the wall, sign it." He went on for about five minutes about this "tour." "We were just wondering if we'd missed anything, that's all."
Umm, SIR?! The next time you come up to me and ask me about a private tour, maybe you should mention that the "tour" you've already had pretty much will blow any other "tour" out of the freakin water. Can you imagine if I'd been like, "Oh, yeah, go take a walk to see the right field roof." You've been behind the wall! You've been in the clubhouse and bullpen WITH one of the players! What more do you want?! What could you have missed, sir? Would you like someone to give you a tour of the field while the game is in play? Really?!
3. Rachael Ray is a loser. Today on her show, she featured these "Clean up Real Quick" tips and the tip was to get bins that you can shove your crap in when the doorbell rings. Wow, Rache, thanks, my life is changed! The weird thing is that she kept saying how she'd invented this tip. Oh really? You think you're the only person who stores all her mess in boxes when company comes? NO! You're just the only person who stores all her mess in boxes when company comes and is narcissistic enough to think that she's the only one who's thought of it and thus has to have a national television show to showcase her talents.
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