Rehab Rant
Apparently the folks running Britney Spears's life (or just her website, but whatever) have decided that they should launch this preview part of the new site that allows her fans to write messages of support and inspiration while their heroine is in resort rehab. People are writing all sorts of crap, like, "Do whatever it takes to get back... because we LUV you and PRAY 4 U every day to pay u back for being such an inspiration to the WORLD." While reading message after message like this, I sort of wondered whether someone like, say, Nelson Mandela might like knowing that not only is he an inspiration to the world, but so is Britney Spears. I'd like to know the definition of "inspiration to the WORLD" that's currently in use, because if you ask me, people have been throwing that phrase around just a little too much lately - and too much in response to people in rehab.
I feel like nowadays, if people do anything wrong or embarrass themselves in any way, they'll just go into rehab and then when they get out, they'll go on Oprah or some Barbara Walters special and talk about how they need to be a spokesperson for whatever problem they had, since it's never really acknowledged or talked about, and suddenly, badabing, they're in inspiration to the WORLD and pretty soon, they'll get all these critics praising their big comeback in some small part of an indie flick or something. Did anyone stop and consider that all of these problems ARE acknowledged - we all know about alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, general stupidity, selfishness, indulgence, greed, you name it - but that we choose not to CELEBRATE them? In some ways, I sort of feel like celebrities think that because they suffer (excuse me, the PC term is 'struggle') with some disease/illness/personality problem, we should all understand the magnamity of it and give every single person who ever suffered from it (excuse me, struggled with it) credit for simply surviving and ACKNOWLEDGING that they have a problem.
Well, I'm not doing it anymore. Look, I'm not saying that people who face alcoholism/addiction/whatever don't deserve support. Obviously, they do, but I don't think they deserve PRAISE for it. I get the argument: let's praise you for facing your problem and doing the hard work to get better. Okay. I give Britney Spears credit for going to get help for whatever problem she's struggling with, but I'm not going to say she's an inspiration to the world. I don't think an alcoholic getting help is an inspiration to the world. Actually, let me rephrase that: if it is an inspiration, something's gone horribly wrong.
Since when is life in general so tough that anyone who is able to face problems and overcome them suddenly life's greatest inspiration? Is it really THAT admirable that Britney Spears allowed her luxurious life of glamour, fame, and wealth to overcome her to the point that she turned to alcohol and drugs and then found that for the sake of her two children, she should check into some billion dollar resort-y rehab center? I won't even get into her whole music career anyway - sure, she sold billions of albums, but at the same time, was she really a brilliant musician or vocalist? I say no: she burst on the scene when the hot teenager was, in fact, hot, and she could dance and hire a producer who knew how to mix a decent voice to make it radio and teenager-friendly. Congratulations, Britney.
A few nights ago, Diana Ross was on American Idol, and I heard someone say that she's an inspiration because she was able to put her life back together after getting a DUI. This was even more disturbing than Britney: someone who has a DUI, could possibly kill someone, goes to rehab and suddenly SHE'S an inspiration? She probably had all the same publicist types as Britney did, telling her that it's her best career move to go to rehab. So she did. And now she's some moron's inspiration. Kill me.
This brings me to my next point, which is that celebrities going to rehab is like celebrities losing baby weight: they have a team of expensive experts, using only the best techniques/best resources to help them, making it seem like they did all this amazing work when, in fact, they really just had unlimited finances to get the best of the best. If the average crack addict could check into Malibu's Promises, have a team of people coordinate their childcare, then have a team of people get them personal assistants and trainers and psychologists when they got out of rehab, well, I bet the rehabilitation rate of crack addicts would get better. Just like if you gave a new mother a team of nutrionists, personal trainers, and childcare professionals, well, she'd be looking like Heidi Klum, too. So what's my point? It's not fair to use them as inspirations, or to think that they're really struggling in the first place: they're so far ahead of what any average person has, it's almost ridiculous to consider that they get into any trouble in the first place.
And I know, I know, I'm going to hear from people about being insensitive to people facing extreme troubles in life. I'm not. If you have a serious addiction and you beat it, all the best to you. A sincere congratulations, and I think you've done right by the people in your life. No joke. But, I'm really tired of having people think that anybody who faces problems should be called a hero or role model. Simply not true.
Finally, take the case of Miss USA. I have enough issues with the whole pageantry itself, but besides that, does anybody else find it troubling that someone representing us - Miss USA - spent a portion of her reign in REHAB? What does it say about our country that she's in rehab? Sure, in the grand scheme of things, we're not really represented by Miss USA, but don't you think it's representative in some way of our current state of the union that we're accepting her stint in rehab as "heroic"? Seriously? As my favorite newsguy, John Stossel, says, give me a break.
So this brings me back to Ms. Spears. First, she goes and has that quickie marriage to Jason Alexander, who becomes the ultimate hanger-on to the 15 minutes of fame (even dating K-Fed's ex to get some publicity). Then, she steals Kevin Federline from Shar Jackson (Mr. Alexander's paramour for a few minutes), marries him, has a kid, reveals her true white trash center, and then gets pregnant AGAIN. During her pregnancy she also goes on Dateline looking as though someone picked her up right out of her trailer and put the TV camera on before she could glue on her false eyelashes completely or iron her wrinkly tank top or spit out her gum. A few months later, she has her second kid, and within weeks of his arrival, she's lost all the baby weight (plastic surgery, anyone?) and she's left her husband and she's now BFFAEAE with Paris Hilton. So far, is any of this heroic? Any of this inspirational? Any of this show someone who's really facing tough times? (I should add that while she's pregnant, she spends time vacationing in Florida, California, Arizona, Mexico, the Caribbean... in between buying only the most expensive items for herself, her children, and her deadbeat husband.) Nobody feels like she's really facing anything tough - and she's not - she's just making really awful decisions. So what happens? She ends up in rehab. And suddenly, it's all explained and accepted. She's in REHAB.
I don't buy it. I think she fucked up a bunch of times and her management team told her she needs to get into rehab ASAP or she's headed back to the trailer - without any hopes of any more Matt Lauer interviews. So she did it, and the American people are such morons that they bought it, to the extent that they're now posting get well messages telling Britney she's their inspiration.
I wish this whole Britney site was a message board, because then I could reach out to all these morons and tell them that if Britney Spears is their inspiration, they need the well wishes more than she does.
I feel like nowadays, if people do anything wrong or embarrass themselves in any way, they'll just go into rehab and then when they get out, they'll go on Oprah or some Barbara Walters special and talk about how they need to be a spokesperson for whatever problem they had, since it's never really acknowledged or talked about, and suddenly, badabing, they're in inspiration to the WORLD and pretty soon, they'll get all these critics praising their big comeback in some small part of an indie flick or something. Did anyone stop and consider that all of these problems ARE acknowledged - we all know about alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, general stupidity, selfishness, indulgence, greed, you name it - but that we choose not to CELEBRATE them? In some ways, I sort of feel like celebrities think that because they suffer (excuse me, the PC term is 'struggle') with some disease/illness/personality problem, we should all understand the magnamity of it and give every single person who ever suffered from it (excuse me, struggled with it) credit for simply surviving and ACKNOWLEDGING that they have a problem.
Well, I'm not doing it anymore. Look, I'm not saying that people who face alcoholism/addiction/whatever don't deserve support. Obviously, they do, but I don't think they deserve PRAISE for it. I get the argument: let's praise you for facing your problem and doing the hard work to get better. Okay. I give Britney Spears credit for going to get help for whatever problem she's struggling with, but I'm not going to say she's an inspiration to the world. I don't think an alcoholic getting help is an inspiration to the world. Actually, let me rephrase that: if it is an inspiration, something's gone horribly wrong.
Since when is life in general so tough that anyone who is able to face problems and overcome them suddenly life's greatest inspiration? Is it really THAT admirable that Britney Spears allowed her luxurious life of glamour, fame, and wealth to overcome her to the point that she turned to alcohol and drugs and then found that for the sake of her two children, she should check into some billion dollar resort-y rehab center? I won't even get into her whole music career anyway - sure, she sold billions of albums, but at the same time, was she really a brilliant musician or vocalist? I say no: she burst on the scene when the hot teenager was, in fact, hot, and she could dance and hire a producer who knew how to mix a decent voice to make it radio and teenager-friendly. Congratulations, Britney.
A few nights ago, Diana Ross was on American Idol, and I heard someone say that she's an inspiration because she was able to put her life back together after getting a DUI. This was even more disturbing than Britney: someone who has a DUI, could possibly kill someone, goes to rehab and suddenly SHE'S an inspiration? She probably had all the same publicist types as Britney did, telling her that it's her best career move to go to rehab. So she did. And now she's some moron's inspiration. Kill me.
This brings me to my next point, which is that celebrities going to rehab is like celebrities losing baby weight: they have a team of expensive experts, using only the best techniques/best resources to help them, making it seem like they did all this amazing work when, in fact, they really just had unlimited finances to get the best of the best. If the average crack addict could check into Malibu's Promises, have a team of people coordinate their childcare, then have a team of people get them personal assistants and trainers and psychologists when they got out of rehab, well, I bet the rehabilitation rate of crack addicts would get better. Just like if you gave a new mother a team of nutrionists, personal trainers, and childcare professionals, well, she'd be looking like Heidi Klum, too. So what's my point? It's not fair to use them as inspirations, or to think that they're really struggling in the first place: they're so far ahead of what any average person has, it's almost ridiculous to consider that they get into any trouble in the first place.
And I know, I know, I'm going to hear from people about being insensitive to people facing extreme troubles in life. I'm not. If you have a serious addiction and you beat it, all the best to you. A sincere congratulations, and I think you've done right by the people in your life. No joke. But, I'm really tired of having people think that anybody who faces problems should be called a hero or role model. Simply not true.
Finally, take the case of Miss USA. I have enough issues with the whole pageantry itself, but besides that, does anybody else find it troubling that someone representing us - Miss USA - spent a portion of her reign in REHAB? What does it say about our country that she's in rehab? Sure, in the grand scheme of things, we're not really represented by Miss USA, but don't you think it's representative in some way of our current state of the union that we're accepting her stint in rehab as "heroic"? Seriously? As my favorite newsguy, John Stossel, says, give me a break.
So this brings me back to Ms. Spears. First, she goes and has that quickie marriage to Jason Alexander, who becomes the ultimate hanger-on to the 15 minutes of fame (even dating K-Fed's ex to get some publicity). Then, she steals Kevin Federline from Shar Jackson (Mr. Alexander's paramour for a few minutes), marries him, has a kid, reveals her true white trash center, and then gets pregnant AGAIN. During her pregnancy she also goes on Dateline looking as though someone picked her up right out of her trailer and put the TV camera on before she could glue on her false eyelashes completely or iron her wrinkly tank top or spit out her gum. A few months later, she has her second kid, and within weeks of his arrival, she's lost all the baby weight (plastic surgery, anyone?) and she's left her husband and she's now BFFAEAE with Paris Hilton. So far, is any of this heroic? Any of this inspirational? Any of this show someone who's really facing tough times? (I should add that while she's pregnant, she spends time vacationing in Florida, California, Arizona, Mexico, the Caribbean... in between buying only the most expensive items for herself, her children, and her deadbeat husband.) Nobody feels like she's really facing anything tough - and she's not - she's just making really awful decisions. So what happens? She ends up in rehab. And suddenly, it's all explained and accepted. She's in REHAB.
I don't buy it. I think she fucked up a bunch of times and her management team told her she needs to get into rehab ASAP or she's headed back to the trailer - without any hopes of any more Matt Lauer interviews. So she did it, and the American people are such morons that they bought it, to the extent that they're now posting get well messages telling Britney she's their inspiration.
I wish this whole Britney site was a message board, because then I could reach out to all these morons and tell them that if Britney Spears is their inspiration, they need the well wishes more than she does.
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