Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Angry Files 2

Sometimes I wonder whether I am too angry at Comcast. Like, if it's affecting my life and all. I've been adding "Motherfucker" after ever mention or sighting of anything Comcast or Comcast-related, but I didn't think that was a huge deal.

Then today my class played Derivatives Scattegories. Derivatives Scattegories is a game I made up using the real Scattegories format. What I did is, I had a list of Latin roots and prefixes and I had the kids think of an English word that comes from the Latin roots or prefixes. The game is that if someone else has the word you have for that particular derivative, you don't get a point. First they played as individuals, then I had the kids compete with their tables, and then I had each table make a master list and they competed by table.

The kids really enjoyed this game. They actually like derivatives because it's a little bit like a puzzle. I'm impressed because they're actually able to determine the meaning of some words based on the Latin roots and prefixes.

Anyway, I was feeling good about the lesson and the kids and my life when I was walking around the room. And then one child said to me, "For the prefix co, would Comcast count?"

I reeled around to face him.

He actually jerked his head back. "Whoa! OK!"

"It doesn't count."

"You got the mad face on!" he said.

"Well, it doesn't count." Before I knew what was happening, I had stopped the game momentarily. "OK, kids, come back together for a minute. Important lesson time. Words of wisdom. Comcast does not count as a derivative for "Co." Does anyone know why?" I didn't wait for an answer. I just kept talking. "Because Comcast is a terrible, horrible company that treats its customers dishonestly. You know how disappointed I get when you guys lie to me? Well, Comcast lies. Comcast lies about its service and lies about how it deals with its customers. Does everyone understand what I'm saying?"

The scary thing about teaching is that none of the children had any look of shock; they were just sitting there obediently absorbing the lesson. Then again, maybe it's just a sign that I am always insane and in front of them. I don't know.

Finally, after a few moments of careful thought, one of the girls in the class raised her hand.

"But Miss, I get that Comcast is a terrible, horrible company and that they are liars. But doesn't it not count as a derivative just because "Co" means "together," and Comcast is just a name of the company?"

"But!" argued the little boy who had initially asked me for my approval of his derivative choice, "couldn't you say that you're casting a bunch of things like TV and internet together?"

"No," said another child. "I think com is short for communication."

"And communication is a derivative of com! When you communicate, you're talking TOGETHER with someone! So Comcast works!" he smiled triumphantly.

The rest of the kids nodded. "OK," they agreed. "Give him the point."

And here's what's disturbing: this whole conversation is evidence that the children had not only understood derivatives, but also that they were able to articulate and analyze their understanding. It was a sign that finally, they were showing that they were actually learning something valuable.

It was then that I realized that Comcast had not only robbed me of $360, countless hours, and general faith in companies and humanity, but it had also taken away this moment of success too. Because rather than thinking about all that good stuff, all I could think was, "Comcast. Motherfuckers."