Les Enfants
I have a funny job. Today, one of my kids came up to me during class. "Miss C, I wrote you a letter at home. It's private and very important, and I'm going to give it to you at the end of class." This is a little girl who's very sweet, but also very needy. She comes in every day with a big hello but also constantly comes up to me during class to have me check over work that she knows very well is already done correctly. Sometimes, when I'm walking into work, I'll see her and she'll wait to walk in with me. She likes to talk to her teachers. When we were evacuated a few weeks ago, she spent the time talking with me and another teacher. When we let her borrow my gloves and the other teacher's scarf, she told us that she'd never felt anything so soft. It was probably true. Anyway, she told me she had this note and I said okay. I was kind of curious, but I waited until the end of class. When we were getting ready to leave, she handed me her note:
"Miss C.... I missed you alot. Do you like me as a student? I don't think you do.. just kidding! I know you like me. You better like me! One day you should keep me and (another student) after school and take us to burger king, pizza, mcdonald's, chinesse food, 4 us being good if so it should be on a Friday cuz then (the studnet) can come to my house my mom or dad will drive her home!" She then signs it.
So I laughed when I read this and thought it was sweet, but obviously, I'm not taking her to any of those places. When I saw her later, she asked me if I'd read the note. I told her I read it, but that I couldn't take her and her friend to lunch, even if they were good kids, because then I'd have to take every good kid. While in reality this would not be that many children, she didn't know that and it was easier to explain that than "legality reasons" and not as harsh as "I'd rather not spend a lot of time outside of school with my students at fast food establishments." She's sweet though.
One of my kids celebrated her birthday on Sunday. I asked her what she did for her birthday. This is a girl who lives with about ten family members in an apartment smaller than mine. She doesn't have a bed. She sleeps on a couch with her sister. She's a tiny girl, but still. Her counselor she sees says that in her file, it says that she doesn't have a personality. I don't think that's true because in her journal, she writes with a lot of emotion. She gets very nervous when she forgets her homework and she gets angry when the class gets yelled at. For her birthday, she wrote that she got a "wonderful doll." This made me very happy because I was nervous that she would receive nothing, like she said she had last year. She just wanted a cake. Apparently, she gets a special Chinese cake made with peaches. It sounded absolutely disgusting, but I told her I bet it was delicious because she was so excited. She offered to bring me a piece, but I told her I thought she should enjoy it with her family.
I have a rewarding job. Last Friday, my homeroom invited me to their music class to hear their singing. It was beautiful. I don't even use that word a lot, but it was really a nice moment: last class of the week, all these kids are around a piano singing a cheesy Disney song for their teacher. It was just so sweet, all of their little voices singing like that. About thirty seconds after the song ended, one of them yelled at the other to stop stepping her mad big foot on her sneaker or she'd beat her face in, but still.
I got tired of listening to my kids say "we was" or "you was" and have that show up in their writing. They had no idea about subject/verb agreement or what tense to use. I was really proud of them for sticking with the grammar lessons last week and all of them passed the grammar quiz I gave. Kids who could not define a verb a month ago wrote on their quizzes, "The verb 'was' is past tense and agrees with a singular subject, 'Kevin.' " Amazing. Then, last Friday, we were talking about types of sentences and amazingly, I overheard three students enthusiastically (no, really, enthusiastically) debating whether a sentence was complex or compound-complex given that they were having trouble deciding whether a clause was independent or dependent. They used all the right terms and concepts and arrived at the correct answers. It's moments like that I wish my evaluator was around, rather than when I'm having trouble getting them to understand that they need to have personality in their writing. (An all-time high: "Your writing has VOICE when it has your personality in it. Voice makes writing not boring." One of my kids raised his hand thoughtfully. "But Miss C, what if your personality is boring?")
I have a sad job. I found out, through reading one of their journals, that one of my kids wasn't in school because her mom's car was stolen. She wrote about how she loved her "candy apple red" car. She felt really nervous and sad because she had a lot of work in her backpack that she needed and she had her favorite lipglosses like bubblegum and cinnamon stix. A few days later, she wrote that they got the car back. The police told them that someone had just taken the car joy-riding, and everything was okay. "But that's not true," she wrote in her journal, "because they ripped up all my papers from my notebooks. Why'd they do that? What do they need to rip up my math homework for? Will I have to pay for the book because that's a lot of money that I don't want to pay for. The jerks also took my lipglosses." It made me sad that someone wouldn't just steal a car, wouldn't just go joy-riding in it, but would take the time to go through a pink Barbie backpack and rip up all of a kid's papers. It made her sad, too.
I notice that a lot of my kids wear the same clothes either every day or every other day. A few of them smell, well, dirty. Not like hasn't showered dirty, but just dirty-clothes dirty. This makes me sad. I also notice that a lot of their clothes are dirty. Not like stained dirty, but just tired-old dirty. The girl who wrote the note to me about Burger King has two zip-up hoodie sweatshirts: a black one and a red one.
I told a boy that I love this purple shirt he wears. It's a Ralph Lauren lavender shirt and the color looks great on him. I found out last week that his mom neglects him because she doesn't get him up for school, so she lets him just turn off the alarm and go back to sleep because he's depressed. She didn't remember his birthday either. She doesn't seem to think one has anything to do with the other.
Another one of my kids has a mother who is too depressed to take her daughter to the hospital for treatments she needs so she has her daughter check herself in and then she'll pick her up - either later that day or the next day or so. She calls to talk to her and check on her, but can't bring herself to visit her own daughter in the hospital. I told her she needed to get a binder for school because she loses everything and the kids are required to have binders. "I told my mom," she said the next day. "But my mom said it's a lot of money to get one and she needs the money to go to the store to visit her boyfriend." Well, I need money to go to the store and to go out with my boyfriend (I know, but that's not the point!) but instead I went and bought her a binder. I got her a pink one because she loves pink. She got very excited when she saw it on Monday. I told her, "Hey, kiddo, you left your binder here on Friday." I gestured towards the brand new pink binder on the table. "No, I didn't," she said. She and I went back and forth like this, with me emphasizing it more and more each time and hoping she'd pick up on the hints. Finally, she did. She's a little slow. Anyways, she got very excited and got right to work setting it up and organizing her things. It made me happy to see her so excited over her little binder. It's one of those really nice zip-up ones, like a lot of the kids have. Of course, she never really said thank you, but that's okay.
I get angry at a lot of them because they won't follow directions or shut up. I hate that I can't yell back at them when they give me an attitude in response to simple requests like, "Pick up your pencil." When a kid tells me to "Fuck off," in response to such a request, I'd rather not have to say, "Well, buddy, that wasn't a good choice. You're going to have to be written up now." Give me a fucking break.
I have a frustrating job. A few months ago, one of the boys in my homeroom started looking at this baseball pen I have on my desk. He decided he really wanted it, and so I told him he could earn it by doing his homework and classwork. Every time he did one of those things, I would put a star on a mini-chart. When he earned 20 stars, he would get the pen. This seems like something pretty simple. If he did all his homework and classwork, it would only take him ten days - two school weeks - to earn the pen. Many students could have had ten pens by now, but not him. He's repeating the grade and it seems like his old habits of last year have started again. He doesn't do any of his homework, any of his classwork. He is an expert at doing nothing. He's been through a lot as a little kid - way, way more than any person of any age should have to witness or go through - but that's not reason enough for him to stop doing work. If I allowed that to happen, I'd be a failure at my job. I'm not paid to feel bad about his life or to make him feel better about it. I'm paid to get him to learn something so he can get out of the place he's currently in. It's hard when I'm met with constant defiance on his part, so when he started to earn stars, I was psyched. He began to interact more, too. He talked with some kids. He even showed me a magic trick. That was a month and a half ago, though. He doesn't talk as much and he hasn't showed me any magic tricks. The pen's still on my desk, waiting for him.
"Miss C.... I missed you alot. Do you like me as a student? I don't think you do.. just kidding! I know you like me. You better like me! One day you should keep me and (another student) after school and take us to burger king, pizza, mcdonald's, chinesse food, 4 us being good if so it should be on a Friday cuz then (the studnet) can come to my house my mom or dad will drive her home!" She then signs it.
So I laughed when I read this and thought it was sweet, but obviously, I'm not taking her to any of those places. When I saw her later, she asked me if I'd read the note. I told her I read it, but that I couldn't take her and her friend to lunch, even if they were good kids, because then I'd have to take every good kid. While in reality this would not be that many children, she didn't know that and it was easier to explain that than "legality reasons" and not as harsh as "I'd rather not spend a lot of time outside of school with my students at fast food establishments." She's sweet though.
One of my kids celebrated her birthday on Sunday. I asked her what she did for her birthday. This is a girl who lives with about ten family members in an apartment smaller than mine. She doesn't have a bed. She sleeps on a couch with her sister. She's a tiny girl, but still. Her counselor she sees says that in her file, it says that she doesn't have a personality. I don't think that's true because in her journal, she writes with a lot of emotion. She gets very nervous when she forgets her homework and she gets angry when the class gets yelled at. For her birthday, she wrote that she got a "wonderful doll." This made me very happy because I was nervous that she would receive nothing, like she said she had last year. She just wanted a cake. Apparently, she gets a special Chinese cake made with peaches. It sounded absolutely disgusting, but I told her I bet it was delicious because she was so excited. She offered to bring me a piece, but I told her I thought she should enjoy it with her family.
I have a rewarding job. Last Friday, my homeroom invited me to their music class to hear their singing. It was beautiful. I don't even use that word a lot, but it was really a nice moment: last class of the week, all these kids are around a piano singing a cheesy Disney song for their teacher. It was just so sweet, all of their little voices singing like that. About thirty seconds after the song ended, one of them yelled at the other to stop stepping her mad big foot on her sneaker or she'd beat her face in, but still.
I got tired of listening to my kids say "we was" or "you was" and have that show up in their writing. They had no idea about subject/verb agreement or what tense to use. I was really proud of them for sticking with the grammar lessons last week and all of them passed the grammar quiz I gave. Kids who could not define a verb a month ago wrote on their quizzes, "The verb 'was' is past tense and agrees with a singular subject, 'Kevin.' " Amazing. Then, last Friday, we were talking about types of sentences and amazingly, I overheard three students enthusiastically (no, really, enthusiastically) debating whether a sentence was complex or compound-complex given that they were having trouble deciding whether a clause was independent or dependent. They used all the right terms and concepts and arrived at the correct answers. It's moments like that I wish my evaluator was around, rather than when I'm having trouble getting them to understand that they need to have personality in their writing. (An all-time high: "Your writing has VOICE when it has your personality in it. Voice makes writing not boring." One of my kids raised his hand thoughtfully. "But Miss C, what if your personality is boring?")
I have a sad job. I found out, through reading one of their journals, that one of my kids wasn't in school because her mom's car was stolen. She wrote about how she loved her "candy apple red" car. She felt really nervous and sad because she had a lot of work in her backpack that she needed and she had her favorite lipglosses like bubblegum and cinnamon stix. A few days later, she wrote that they got the car back. The police told them that someone had just taken the car joy-riding, and everything was okay. "But that's not true," she wrote in her journal, "because they ripped up all my papers from my notebooks. Why'd they do that? What do they need to rip up my math homework for? Will I have to pay for the book because that's a lot of money that I don't want to pay for. The jerks also took my lipglosses." It made me sad that someone wouldn't just steal a car, wouldn't just go joy-riding in it, but would take the time to go through a pink Barbie backpack and rip up all of a kid's papers. It made her sad, too.
I notice that a lot of my kids wear the same clothes either every day or every other day. A few of them smell, well, dirty. Not like hasn't showered dirty, but just dirty-clothes dirty. This makes me sad. I also notice that a lot of their clothes are dirty. Not like stained dirty, but just tired-old dirty. The girl who wrote the note to me about Burger King has two zip-up hoodie sweatshirts: a black one and a red one.
I told a boy that I love this purple shirt he wears. It's a Ralph Lauren lavender shirt and the color looks great on him. I found out last week that his mom neglects him because she doesn't get him up for school, so she lets him just turn off the alarm and go back to sleep because he's depressed. She didn't remember his birthday either. She doesn't seem to think one has anything to do with the other.
Another one of my kids has a mother who is too depressed to take her daughter to the hospital for treatments she needs so she has her daughter check herself in and then she'll pick her up - either later that day or the next day or so. She calls to talk to her and check on her, but can't bring herself to visit her own daughter in the hospital. I told her she needed to get a binder for school because she loses everything and the kids are required to have binders. "I told my mom," she said the next day. "But my mom said it's a lot of money to get one and she needs the money to go to the store to visit her boyfriend." Well, I need money to go to the store and to go out with my boyfriend (I know, but that's not the point!) but instead I went and bought her a binder. I got her a pink one because she loves pink. She got very excited when she saw it on Monday. I told her, "Hey, kiddo, you left your binder here on Friday." I gestured towards the brand new pink binder on the table. "No, I didn't," she said. She and I went back and forth like this, with me emphasizing it more and more each time and hoping she'd pick up on the hints. Finally, she did. She's a little slow. Anyways, she got very excited and got right to work setting it up and organizing her things. It made me happy to see her so excited over her little binder. It's one of those really nice zip-up ones, like a lot of the kids have. Of course, she never really said thank you, but that's okay.
I get angry at a lot of them because they won't follow directions or shut up. I hate that I can't yell back at them when they give me an attitude in response to simple requests like, "Pick up your pencil." When a kid tells me to "Fuck off," in response to such a request, I'd rather not have to say, "Well, buddy, that wasn't a good choice. You're going to have to be written up now." Give me a fucking break.
I have a frustrating job. A few months ago, one of the boys in my homeroom started looking at this baseball pen I have on my desk. He decided he really wanted it, and so I told him he could earn it by doing his homework and classwork. Every time he did one of those things, I would put a star on a mini-chart. When he earned 20 stars, he would get the pen. This seems like something pretty simple. If he did all his homework and classwork, it would only take him ten days - two school weeks - to earn the pen. Many students could have had ten pens by now, but not him. He's repeating the grade and it seems like his old habits of last year have started again. He doesn't do any of his homework, any of his classwork. He is an expert at doing nothing. He's been through a lot as a little kid - way, way more than any person of any age should have to witness or go through - but that's not reason enough for him to stop doing work. If I allowed that to happen, I'd be a failure at my job. I'm not paid to feel bad about his life or to make him feel better about it. I'm paid to get him to learn something so he can get out of the place he's currently in. It's hard when I'm met with constant defiance on his part, so when he started to earn stars, I was psyched. He began to interact more, too. He talked with some kids. He even showed me a magic trick. That was a month and a half ago, though. He doesn't talk as much and he hasn't showed me any magic tricks. The pen's still on my desk, waiting for him.
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