Just Some Random Holiday Cheer
- I went to this session to learn about the possibility of getting additional teaching certification. I heard about it through my school and I was told it was free and easy, so I went to this information session. After an hour of wanting to stab my eyes out, I decided not to do the program because I realized that when I had agreed to go to this session, I had forgotten the two universal truths of life: nothing's free and nothing's easy. Can't believe I forgot that.
- People out shopping for Christmas presents are twits. They're always walking in the wrong direction, always going slow, always competing with you for the last red sweater, always trying to beat you to the line. I went shopping last Saturday downtown and that was a big mistake for me and the world. As much as I like Christmas, I hate Christmas shoppers. I especially hate the old lady morons who walk around in those dopey sweaters with Santas and snowmen on them. They're all a facade, because the sweaters make you think that the person wearing the sweater will be calm and kind, but they're the most likely to stab you in the eyes just to get in front of you in line for the 15% off special.
- I ordered a bunch of art from art.com. This made me laugh. How artificial (no pun intended) can you get, ordering art from art.com? Whatever. The point is, they said they shipped it Monday and so I hope it's here tomorrow or I'm going hunting in my neighbors' apartments for cute season scenes and tree prints.
- Today I got embarrassed because I think the guy at the Gap thought I was trying to rip them off. The truth was, I might have been, but not on purpose. I got this sweater on Saturday that looks really ugly when I put it on, so I decided to return it. The Gap has a ridiculous policy that you can't exchange anything in the store without a receipt. They have to send you the store credit in the mail rather than just give it to you right there and let you use that towards items you are currently purchasing. I swear, the Gap really hates their customers. That means that they hate me, and yet I keep going back. I wish this was just something limited to the Gap with me and my life, but sadly, it's sort of part of the whole pattern.
Anyhow, the bottom line is that I was sort of trying to get the maximum store credit for the sweater, which retails at $68.00. Last Saturday, when I bought it, it was on promotion for something like $48.00. The guy ringing me up though messed up and gave me the discount for the promotion twice. When I said I was surprised that he was charging me $27, he looked at it again and shrugged and said, "Merry Christmas, I guess." I even told my roommate how amazing this was: finally, some good customer service! In fact, unbelievable customer service. Customer service I didn't deserve, really. And so, today, when I told the guy I bought the sweater on my Gap card and he asked to see that to look up the purchase, I was nervous that he'd only give me the $27 in credit back. Which, technically, is fair, but still. I was hopeful that I'd finally get an amazing deal from the Gap, who hates their customers. But the Gap guy outsmarted me and so I got $27 put back on my Gap card immediately, no mail-store credit, and I still owed $12 on my current purchases of the day. Bahumbug.
- Comcast is a motherfucking horrible company.
- There's this woman I know who constantly treats me with kiddie-gloves, like I'm some sort of developmentally stunted moron. We got this checklist sheet thing today, and she asked me if I could understand it. So I said, "Yeah... I think I can, umm, figure this out. Just go through and check the boxes that apply." The sad thing is, I was completely serious. I wasn't even trying to be sarcastic or facetious. It was just how it was. But this guy I work with was like, "I was dying! 'Check the boxes' on a checklist! How'd you keep a straight face?!" Is it a bad thing when you no longer can separate when you're being intentionally demeaning to assholes/morons and when you're just giving a straight answer? I might want to think about this.
- I went to visit my grandma on Sunday. She's sort of out of it now. My dad will freak when he reads this because he'll think I'm being insensitive, but I think I'm just being pretty honest. Anyway, that's not the point of the story at all. We saw her friend Saul, who's got the car that I love. Well, correction: had. He sold his Camry a while ago and now drives around a shitty blue Corolla. This upset me immensely about a year ago. On Sunday, my sister and I talked to him about his car. It went like this:
Two seconds after talking about my grandmother who has pneumonia right now:
Me: "So, Saul, what are you driving now anyway?"
Saul: "A corolla."
"Do you like it?"
"It's okay."
"What color?"
"Blue."
"A blue Corolla, huh?"
"Yup."
"Huh. Remember the car you used to have? A Camry?"
"Yup."
"Great car."
"I liked that car better."
"Me too, Saul. Me too."
My sister: "Maybe you should get another one." (She's in on this for some reason. I wonder if she thinks she'd get the car. She wouldn't. He likes me better. That's a fact.)
Saul: "Maybe." (Clearly not going to. Borderline-out of it.)
Me: "A nice black Camry. Wouldn't that be nice?"
My sister: "With tan leather interiors!" (Someone should tell her: she's not getting the car.)
Saul: "Yup." (Is he even hearing us?)
My sister: "We're just thinking of you."
Me: "And of me."
Saul: "What?"
It went pretty much like that. We dropped it and went onto another subject. I don't think he's going to get a Camry.
- People out shopping for Christmas presents are twits. They're always walking in the wrong direction, always going slow, always competing with you for the last red sweater, always trying to beat you to the line. I went shopping last Saturday downtown and that was a big mistake for me and the world. As much as I like Christmas, I hate Christmas shoppers. I especially hate the old lady morons who walk around in those dopey sweaters with Santas and snowmen on them. They're all a facade, because the sweaters make you think that the person wearing the sweater will be calm and kind, but they're the most likely to stab you in the eyes just to get in front of you in line for the 15% off special.
- I ordered a bunch of art from art.com. This made me laugh. How artificial (no pun intended) can you get, ordering art from art.com? Whatever. The point is, they said they shipped it Monday and so I hope it's here tomorrow or I'm going hunting in my neighbors' apartments for cute season scenes and tree prints.
- Today I got embarrassed because I think the guy at the Gap thought I was trying to rip them off. The truth was, I might have been, but not on purpose. I got this sweater on Saturday that looks really ugly when I put it on, so I decided to return it. The Gap has a ridiculous policy that you can't exchange anything in the store without a receipt. They have to send you the store credit in the mail rather than just give it to you right there and let you use that towards items you are currently purchasing. I swear, the Gap really hates their customers. That means that they hate me, and yet I keep going back. I wish this was just something limited to the Gap with me and my life, but sadly, it's sort of part of the whole pattern.
Anyhow, the bottom line is that I was sort of trying to get the maximum store credit for the sweater, which retails at $68.00. Last Saturday, when I bought it, it was on promotion for something like $48.00. The guy ringing me up though messed up and gave me the discount for the promotion twice. When I said I was surprised that he was charging me $27, he looked at it again and shrugged and said, "Merry Christmas, I guess." I even told my roommate how amazing this was: finally, some good customer service! In fact, unbelievable customer service. Customer service I didn't deserve, really. And so, today, when I told the guy I bought the sweater on my Gap card and he asked to see that to look up the purchase, I was nervous that he'd only give me the $27 in credit back. Which, technically, is fair, but still. I was hopeful that I'd finally get an amazing deal from the Gap, who hates their customers. But the Gap guy outsmarted me and so I got $27 put back on my Gap card immediately, no mail-store credit, and I still owed $12 on my current purchases of the day. Bahumbug.
- Comcast is a motherfucking horrible company.
- There's this woman I know who constantly treats me with kiddie-gloves, like I'm some sort of developmentally stunted moron. We got this checklist sheet thing today, and she asked me if I could understand it. So I said, "Yeah... I think I can, umm, figure this out. Just go through and check the boxes that apply." The sad thing is, I was completely serious. I wasn't even trying to be sarcastic or facetious. It was just how it was. But this guy I work with was like, "I was dying! 'Check the boxes' on a checklist! How'd you keep a straight face?!" Is it a bad thing when you no longer can separate when you're being intentionally demeaning to assholes/morons and when you're just giving a straight answer? I might want to think about this.
- I went to visit my grandma on Sunday. She's sort of out of it now. My dad will freak when he reads this because he'll think I'm being insensitive, but I think I'm just being pretty honest. Anyway, that's not the point of the story at all. We saw her friend Saul, who's got the car that I love. Well, correction: had. He sold his Camry a while ago and now drives around a shitty blue Corolla. This upset me immensely about a year ago. On Sunday, my sister and I talked to him about his car. It went like this:
Two seconds after talking about my grandmother who has pneumonia right now:
Me: "So, Saul, what are you driving now anyway?"
Saul: "A corolla."
"Do you like it?"
"It's okay."
"What color?"
"Blue."
"A blue Corolla, huh?"
"Yup."
"Huh. Remember the car you used to have? A Camry?"
"Yup."
"Great car."
"I liked that car better."
"Me too, Saul. Me too."
My sister: "Maybe you should get another one." (She's in on this for some reason. I wonder if she thinks she'd get the car. She wouldn't. He likes me better. That's a fact.)
Saul: "Maybe." (Clearly not going to. Borderline-out of it.)
Me: "A nice black Camry. Wouldn't that be nice?"
My sister: "With tan leather interiors!" (Someone should tell her: she's not getting the car.)
Saul: "Yup." (Is he even hearing us?)
My sister: "We're just thinking of you."
Me: "And of me."
Saul: "What?"
It went pretty much like that. We dropped it and went onto another subject. I don't think he's going to get a Camry.
<< Home