The Defender
In one of my classes, there's this little kid who is constantly asking questions that show he's really curious about what he's studying. He constantly wants to participate, he constantly has something to say, and he's constantly asking to be the facilitator (a.k.a. "boss") during group work. Of course, I think he's adorable, even though I'm usually saying things like, "Good question, buddy. Why don't you look that up for extra credit?" loosely translated to mean, "I have no fucking clue, kid." He's called my bluff a few times, but I just walk away and pretend I don't hear him or care to hear him. (This strategy, by the way, should be in teacher's books. Works like a charm.)
Anyway, it's a little unfortunate because the kid can read and understand things at about a 10th grade reading level, but he writes like a 4 year old. It's most likely a learning disability, because he spells things so completely wrong - leaving letters out, leaving entire words out, etc. - that it's often hard to understand his ideas. Still, though, you can tell he's thinking. He's pretty self-conscious about the whole thing, so I try to just tell him to slow down when he writes (he's often speeding through everything, I think because of his excitement over the information - seriously) and that his ideas are brilliant. I'm not sure whether brilliant's the right word and all, but I had a professor who often told people they were brilliant (it was like every other thing someone said, "Brilliant summary." "Brilliant question." "Just brilliant." It's amazing how many things can be brilliant), and it made everyone feel brilliant even though probably none of us were (especially this Princeton fuck who thought she was the shiiiit when she said things like, "Having kids sound out words helps them to read") and so I figure, why not tell his kid? Plus, some of his thoughts are pretty decent.
So of course, as time goes on, it becomes clear to the other kids that he writes like a maniac, but that his handwriting and spelling come out all fucked up. This really annoys him because he's constantly trying to be the boss of everyone and show everyone all the knowledge he has. He's also pre-occupied with defending himself. "I can too write," he says. "I can too sort of spell," he argues. He's like one of these little kids that just shakes his head at the comments, which are all well-meaning, because he's a friendly guy and popular with his classmates, but always feels a need to defend his honor or something. He also has these huge bug-eyes which another teacher mimicked when I asked her if she knew him. Almost knocked me over, it was so dead-on and hilarious. Anyway, he's one of my secret-favorites. (If anyone who teaches tells you they don't have favorites, they're a LIAR)
So a few days ago, the whole class was working on this project and they were talking a little loudly. One girl was on one side of the classroom, with the kid on the other side. He was working diligently on his assignment and she was, of course, being annoying and off-task. (She acts like a two year old baby when you yell at her too. "Get to work," I tell her. "Waaaah!" she says. Okay, so she doesn't cry, but it pretty much sounds like the beginning of a two-year-old's tantrum. Horrid.) I had this hand lotion with me on my desk, and the kid came up to ask if he could have some because his hands were dry.
"He always uses my lotion," the girl said.
I ignored her, because she is annoying.
"You can use some," I told him.
"Want to smell my lotion?" the girl asked. She brought it up without me answering. It was sun-ripened raspberry, the scent I used to have in all the lotions and sprays when I was in sixth grade. It's very sixth-grade-ish.
I smelled it to shut her up and told her it was nice to shut her up and told her to go back to her seat and watched as she stomped away.
The kid used my non-smelly lotion and went back to his seat. About five minutes later, the girl said, "--- smells like a girl." She said it pretty quietly, and with all the kids talking, nobody paid much attention - except the kid.
"What?" he said. It was his tone - it was this "I am going to have to go defend myself, what can they be after me about NOW?" tone that made me laugh so hard that I began crying. Of course, they saw it like I was laughing at the fact that he smells like a girl, so I had to assure him that it was more his tone that made me laugh than the comment - that was neither true nor especially funny (WAAAAAAH said the girl when I said that) - and shockingly, he seemed to understand what I was laughing at - at his little need at age 11 to defend his honor.
Maybe he is brilliant after all.
Anyway, it's a little unfortunate because the kid can read and understand things at about a 10th grade reading level, but he writes like a 4 year old. It's most likely a learning disability, because he spells things so completely wrong - leaving letters out, leaving entire words out, etc. - that it's often hard to understand his ideas. Still, though, you can tell he's thinking. He's pretty self-conscious about the whole thing, so I try to just tell him to slow down when he writes (he's often speeding through everything, I think because of his excitement over the information - seriously) and that his ideas are brilliant. I'm not sure whether brilliant's the right word and all, but I had a professor who often told people they were brilliant (it was like every other thing someone said, "Brilliant summary." "Brilliant question." "Just brilliant." It's amazing how many things can be brilliant), and it made everyone feel brilliant even though probably none of us were (especially this Princeton fuck who thought she was the shiiiit when she said things like, "Having kids sound out words helps them to read") and so I figure, why not tell his kid? Plus, some of his thoughts are pretty decent.
So of course, as time goes on, it becomes clear to the other kids that he writes like a maniac, but that his handwriting and spelling come out all fucked up. This really annoys him because he's constantly trying to be the boss of everyone and show everyone all the knowledge he has. He's also pre-occupied with defending himself. "I can too write," he says. "I can too sort of spell," he argues. He's like one of these little kids that just shakes his head at the comments, which are all well-meaning, because he's a friendly guy and popular with his classmates, but always feels a need to defend his honor or something. He also has these huge bug-eyes which another teacher mimicked when I asked her if she knew him. Almost knocked me over, it was so dead-on and hilarious. Anyway, he's one of my secret-favorites. (If anyone who teaches tells you they don't have favorites, they're a LIAR)
So a few days ago, the whole class was working on this project and they were talking a little loudly. One girl was on one side of the classroom, with the kid on the other side. He was working diligently on his assignment and she was, of course, being annoying and off-task. (She acts like a two year old baby when you yell at her too. "Get to work," I tell her. "Waaaah!" she says. Okay, so she doesn't cry, but it pretty much sounds like the beginning of a two-year-old's tantrum. Horrid.) I had this hand lotion with me on my desk, and the kid came up to ask if he could have some because his hands were dry.
"He always uses my lotion," the girl said.
I ignored her, because she is annoying.
"You can use some," I told him.
"Want to smell my lotion?" the girl asked. She brought it up without me answering. It was sun-ripened raspberry, the scent I used to have in all the lotions and sprays when I was in sixth grade. It's very sixth-grade-ish.
I smelled it to shut her up and told her it was nice to shut her up and told her to go back to her seat and watched as she stomped away.
The kid used my non-smelly lotion and went back to his seat. About five minutes later, the girl said, "--- smells like a girl." She said it pretty quietly, and with all the kids talking, nobody paid much attention - except the kid.
"What?" he said. It was his tone - it was this "I am going to have to go defend myself, what can they be after me about NOW?" tone that made me laugh so hard that I began crying. Of course, they saw it like I was laughing at the fact that he smells like a girl, so I had to assure him that it was more his tone that made me laugh than the comment - that was neither true nor especially funny (WAAAAAAH said the girl when I said that) - and shockingly, he seemed to understand what I was laughing at - at his little need at age 11 to defend his honor.
Maybe he is brilliant after all.
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