Forget Paris
Today I almost flipped out when I saw that Paris Hilton's "punishment" for violating her probation - and for driving drunk and having no regard for the legal system - has been changed from serving 23 days in prison to serving 45 days under "house arrest." I put the "house arrest" in quotations because I feel like that's a misnomer - her house is larger than most American neighborhoods, and it has more amenities and luxuries than most five-star hotels. Excuse me if I find it hard to believe that she's going to be under "house arrest" in the traditional sense of the word.
Apparently, we're all supposed to buy into the excuse that she's got some horrible medical condition that makes it impossible for her to serve her sentence in prison. I'd like to know whether an allergic reaction to non-Egyptian cotton towels or 1000000 thread count sheets qualifies as a medical condition, because I believe it should not. And I'm also hopeful that depression doesn't qualify, because if I'm not mistaken, jail isn't supposed to induce euphoria.
This sends a pretty horrible message to the rest of America: Paris Hilton is rich and famous and because of that, she doesn't have to serve much time in jail. I don't care what else anybody says: she's not in there right now because of who she is, and when you think about it, who she is is bullshit anyway. We're not talking about a humanitarian or even a talented actress or fuck, even Martha Stewart who built an reputable empire, we're talking about someone who got her fame through releasing a sex tape and subsequently staring on a show with fellow possible-convict Nicole Richie. Apparently, that's enough to get you out of the slammer five days into serving your sentence!
I also don't want to hear any bullshit about how she learned from this experience, unless you're going to tell me that she learned that she will get whatever she want if she cries and asks Mommy and Daddy to pay off whoever needs to be paid off for her to get out of trouble. (By the way, I bet every sell-out who encountered the Hiltons throughout this ordeal gets a lifetime pass to any Hilton resort. Big fucking deal.) The only thing Paris learned about paying for the wrong you've done is in the literal sense. She paid, and she's free.
I realize that some people might think "free" doesn't apply to Paris, since she won't technically have her freedom, but let me ask: how many people would give up their "freedom" to spend forty days at a five-star hotel resort with a movie theater and full staff service? I bet a lot of people! It's not like Paris is returning home to a one-bedroom shack without air conditioning. She's got a multi-zillion dollar estate with multi-zillion dollar amenities and a multi-zillion dollar staff to serve her. I guess the punishment for Paris is "No parties!" which in a sense means that she's one of those kids who got grounded but still got to watch TV and play video games and call friends on the phone. Nobody thought that kid was really roughing it - most importantly, the kid himself - and nobody thinks Paris is roughing it, least of all Paris. The sheriff's department reminds everyone, too, that because Paris has to be reassigned - not released, they stressed (Umm, when you're let out of prison, what else do you call it?) - she has to serve her full forty days. She can't get out at 23 days for good behavior. Well then. As long as she has to spend an additional 23 days in her life of luxury, I guess it's fair.
Send me a postcard from paradise, Paris. You lucky bitch.
Apparently, we're all supposed to buy into the excuse that she's got some horrible medical condition that makes it impossible for her to serve her sentence in prison. I'd like to know whether an allergic reaction to non-Egyptian cotton towels or 1000000 thread count sheets qualifies as a medical condition, because I believe it should not. And I'm also hopeful that depression doesn't qualify, because if I'm not mistaken, jail isn't supposed to induce euphoria.
This sends a pretty horrible message to the rest of America: Paris Hilton is rich and famous and because of that, she doesn't have to serve much time in jail. I don't care what else anybody says: she's not in there right now because of who she is, and when you think about it, who she is is bullshit anyway. We're not talking about a humanitarian or even a talented actress or fuck, even Martha Stewart who built an reputable empire, we're talking about someone who got her fame through releasing a sex tape and subsequently staring on a show with fellow possible-convict Nicole Richie. Apparently, that's enough to get you out of the slammer five days into serving your sentence!
I also don't want to hear any bullshit about how she learned from this experience, unless you're going to tell me that she learned that she will get whatever she want if she cries and asks Mommy and Daddy to pay off whoever needs to be paid off for her to get out of trouble. (By the way, I bet every sell-out who encountered the Hiltons throughout this ordeal gets a lifetime pass to any Hilton resort. Big fucking deal.) The only thing Paris learned about paying for the wrong you've done is in the literal sense. She paid, and she's free.
I realize that some people might think "free" doesn't apply to Paris, since she won't technically have her freedom, but let me ask: how many people would give up their "freedom" to spend forty days at a five-star hotel resort with a movie theater and full staff service? I bet a lot of people! It's not like Paris is returning home to a one-bedroom shack without air conditioning. She's got a multi-zillion dollar estate with multi-zillion dollar amenities and a multi-zillion dollar staff to serve her. I guess the punishment for Paris is "No parties!" which in a sense means that she's one of those kids who got grounded but still got to watch TV and play video games and call friends on the phone. Nobody thought that kid was really roughing it - most importantly, the kid himself - and nobody thinks Paris is roughing it, least of all Paris. The sheriff's department reminds everyone, too, that because Paris has to be reassigned - not released, they stressed (Umm, when you're let out of prison, what else do you call it?) - she has to serve her full forty days. She can't get out at 23 days for good behavior. Well then. As long as she has to spend an additional 23 days in her life of luxury, I guess it's fair.
Send me a postcard from paradise, Paris. You lucky bitch.
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