Blogshit
If you have a second, check out www.debbieclemens.com. This site belongs to Debbie Clemens, wife of Roger. Its items are tackier than the cheap clothes at Rave. Really. It takes a lot to beat Rave on tackiness, but Deb manages to do it. Deb. What a freak. She offers some standard advice on diet and exercise, and she posts her pictures from Sports Illustrated, and I give her credit for maintaing her body at age 40, but all that is used to thinly veil her real purpose for the site: selling merchandise. And what merchandise she sells! She's really smart, because what she does is, she takes baseballs and somehow finds Roger Clemens and has him sign them, and then she puts them up for $75.00. I bet a future hall-of-famer loves that his signature can get a whopping $75.00. Woohooo. Really. Don't break the bank now. But, if baseballs aren't your thing, you might prefer "butterflies" as the site advertises, "Butterflies and baseball" as its main title and theme. You would be out of luck though, because there are no butterflies anywhere, except for decorating the introduction mini-movie and homepage. Awwww. It's a lovely touch of class, really. So if you're not too disappointed, you can still peruse the site and find Astros hats for $75.00. These are not just any Astro hats though. No, they are decorated with sequins and beads! In case your five-year-old cousin is too busy to make one for you, you can buy one here - with Rog's signature! (I wonder if he could keep a straight face while signing them.) If your jean jacket has not yet had garbage glued to it, you can also find one here, but the price for shit glued onto jean is very high, I warn you. Additionally, you can have Debbie Clemens's John Hancock on a variety of equally high-quality, high-class items. I urge you to check it out.
I really think somebody should get her an easy-bake oven so she can switch careers.
Today this lady calls in to work. She says to me, "Hello, I would like to know how to bill BU for my phone bill." Yeah lady, me too.
People are real freaks.
Oh, also, the mystery of "I don't give," was solved by Drinnan (I don't know his middle intial) Thornton, who clued me into the Captain-Obvious fact that it was short for "I don't give a fuck" or "I don't give a shit" (Incidentally, I believe that was my first use of "fuck") and so kids were really ahead of themeselves when the invoked the saying. He thought it was pretty clever that all these kids were going around telling their parents, "I don't give," and the parent had to know the extended version. So I take back what I wrote earlier. Kudos to little Danny Gray who told his mother after she yelled at him to eat green beans, "I don't give!" Great job, little man.
Last night I went to Campco with my friend Kristen. She wanted a snack. I got there and Campco seduced me and I had to buy some blow pops and a bag of marshmallows. Don't ask. So while I was waiting for Kristen, I opened the bag and offered one to the girl behind the counter. She didn't get that I was offering her a marshmallow. But then she finally understood and she was very excited to take a few marshmallows. On the way home, I offered one to Annette and she also had one. So did Jen. People were like, "Yeah! I'd love a marshmallow," like they were very surprised they were being offered one. Marshmallows are a good snack sometimes, but nobody remembers that.
I really think somebody should get her an easy-bake oven so she can switch careers.
Today this lady calls in to work. She says to me, "Hello, I would like to know how to bill BU for my phone bill." Yeah lady, me too.
People are real freaks.
Oh, also, the mystery of "I don't give," was solved by Drinnan (I don't know his middle intial) Thornton, who clued me into the Captain-Obvious fact that it was short for "I don't give a fuck" or "I don't give a shit" (Incidentally, I believe that was my first use of "fuck") and so kids were really ahead of themeselves when the invoked the saying. He thought it was pretty clever that all these kids were going around telling their parents, "I don't give," and the parent had to know the extended version. So I take back what I wrote earlier. Kudos to little Danny Gray who told his mother after she yelled at him to eat green beans, "I don't give!" Great job, little man.
Last night I went to Campco with my friend Kristen. She wanted a snack. I got there and Campco seduced me and I had to buy some blow pops and a bag of marshmallows. Don't ask. So while I was waiting for Kristen, I opened the bag and offered one to the girl behind the counter. She didn't get that I was offering her a marshmallow. But then she finally understood and she was very excited to take a few marshmallows. On the way home, I offered one to Annette and she also had one. So did Jen. People were like, "Yeah! I'd love a marshmallow," like they were very surprised they were being offered one. Marshmallows are a good snack sometimes, but nobody remembers that.
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