Saturday Morning Thoughts
1. Cesar Crespo's "Dress Up and Pretend I'm a Major Leaguer" Career Ends (.165 with no homers, two RBIs in 79 plate appearances, 0 walks, 1 for 20 with runners in scoring position.)
For some reason, when I think of Cesar, I always think of those crazy black and white movies where the music is going really fast and folksy, and you see these fast-forwarded images of people waving to the cameras. I seriously picture little Cesar in Mexico going over to his dad, who's sitting in an armchair, his dad turning Cesar around to face the camera and wave and show his new baseball bat, a hockey stick. Then it switches to a backyard with kids hitting a pinata and adults drinking punch and the Dad roasting a pig or flipping hotdogs and then finally focuses on little five-year old Cesar trying to swing the hockey stick in the backyard at a frisbee thrown by his brother.
That's seriously, no lie, what I picture when I think of Cesar Crespo.
The only thing in major league baseball that makes me laugh more than a Cesar Crespo at-bat is when I think about Coco Crisp's family. In my mind, he's got a sister named Froot Loop and a wife named Rice.
2. Get U2's version of Everlasting Love or ask me to send it to you. I have been dancing around like a complete moron ever since I found this song.
3. You know what makes me really sad? Seeing people eating by themselves. It really ruins my meal when I see somebody looking miserable eating alone. These people usually don't even have a book or a magazine, which kinda makes me annoyed though. It would be better if they had a book or magazine so I wouldn't feel so compelled to feel so bad for them. But usually they just sit there and look miserable and eat macaroni and cheese.
The worst is when you go to Disneyworld and see a really heavy person eating by himself at a restaurant. Oh my god, if I ever saw that, I might die.
4. You know what is pretty messed up? In that last one, I couldn't even bring myself to write "fat" as the person eating by himself at Disneyworld, even though that's what I really meant. I just felt too mean even writing it!
5. Still dancing like a moron to that U2 song. Only I'm sitting down, so I'm only moving my shoulders and my feet, so I really look like Nomar Garciaparra trying to make a double-play.
6. Speaking of Nomar Garciaparra, Dan Shaughnessy's got it right
7. I still laugh when I think about Napoleon Dynamite. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, try to see the movie. Heck yes!
8. One entry I'll write about the genius that is Curb Your Enthusiasm.
9. I am having a wallet issue. I can't decide how to carry my money and keys. I hate carrying everything all the time, but I need my keys and ID and stuff all the time, so I need to figure this out. It is really causing me some concern, which in itself kinda worries me.
10. When I was younger, I did these flower drawings. I thought they were really talented. I was all set to call the freakin Museum of Fine Arts and tell them to move over the Monets. And I also did a picture of a panda bear, which I thought was just out of this world.
The sad thing is, I was like 15.
So anyhow, I went home a few weeks ago and decided it would be productive for me to bring all my drawing stuff back with me, because I had this weird image of myself at the Commons drawing the ducks or some shit like that. I just grabbed my notebook and some craypas and pencils. I have to tell you, even writing "craypas" makes me cringe because it makes me seem like some sort of artist. God, it is so rough when you are embarrassed in front of yourself.
Well I get back to Boston, and I unpack my stuff. I look through the notebook.
Yeah, that was the end of THAT idea.
11. I have to get on with my life. Happy Birthday to my sister, who is a pretty funny kid when she wants to be. One time, she was tap dancing and she fell flat on her face. That was pretty funny to watch. She also thought she was really great at the violin, but she kinda sucked.
I might really mess up my kids, when I re-read stuff like that.
For some reason, when I think of Cesar, I always think of those crazy black and white movies where the music is going really fast and folksy, and you see these fast-forwarded images of people waving to the cameras. I seriously picture little Cesar in Mexico going over to his dad, who's sitting in an armchair, his dad turning Cesar around to face the camera and wave and show his new baseball bat, a hockey stick. Then it switches to a backyard with kids hitting a pinata and adults drinking punch and the Dad roasting a pig or flipping hotdogs and then finally focuses on little five-year old Cesar trying to swing the hockey stick in the backyard at a frisbee thrown by his brother.
That's seriously, no lie, what I picture when I think of Cesar Crespo.
The only thing in major league baseball that makes me laugh more than a Cesar Crespo at-bat is when I think about Coco Crisp's family. In my mind, he's got a sister named Froot Loop and a wife named Rice.
2. Get U2's version of Everlasting Love or ask me to send it to you. I have been dancing around like a complete moron ever since I found this song.
3. You know what makes me really sad? Seeing people eating by themselves. It really ruins my meal when I see somebody looking miserable eating alone. These people usually don't even have a book or a magazine, which kinda makes me annoyed though. It would be better if they had a book or magazine so I wouldn't feel so compelled to feel so bad for them. But usually they just sit there and look miserable and eat macaroni and cheese.
The worst is when you go to Disneyworld and see a really heavy person eating by himself at a restaurant. Oh my god, if I ever saw that, I might die.
4. You know what is pretty messed up? In that last one, I couldn't even bring myself to write "fat" as the person eating by himself at Disneyworld, even though that's what I really meant. I just felt too mean even writing it!
5. Still dancing like a moron to that U2 song. Only I'm sitting down, so I'm only moving my shoulders and my feet, so I really look like Nomar Garciaparra trying to make a double-play.
6. Speaking of Nomar Garciaparra, Dan Shaughnessy's got it right
7. I still laugh when I think about Napoleon Dynamite. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, try to see the movie. Heck yes!
8. One entry I'll write about the genius that is Curb Your Enthusiasm.
9. I am having a wallet issue. I can't decide how to carry my money and keys. I hate carrying everything all the time, but I need my keys and ID and stuff all the time, so I need to figure this out. It is really causing me some concern, which in itself kinda worries me.
10. When I was younger, I did these flower drawings. I thought they were really talented. I was all set to call the freakin Museum of Fine Arts and tell them to move over the Monets. And I also did a picture of a panda bear, which I thought was just out of this world.
The sad thing is, I was like 15.
So anyhow, I went home a few weeks ago and decided it would be productive for me to bring all my drawing stuff back with me, because I had this weird image of myself at the Commons drawing the ducks or some shit like that. I just grabbed my notebook and some craypas and pencils. I have to tell you, even writing "craypas" makes me cringe because it makes me seem like some sort of artist. God, it is so rough when you are embarrassed in front of yourself.
Well I get back to Boston, and I unpack my stuff. I look through the notebook.
Yeah, that was the end of THAT idea.
11. I have to get on with my life. Happy Birthday to my sister, who is a pretty funny kid when she wants to be. One time, she was tap dancing and she fell flat on her face. That was pretty funny to watch. She also thought she was really great at the violin, but she kinda sucked.
I might really mess up my kids, when I re-read stuff like that.
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