Disaster on Ice
A few months ago, I went to my first Bruins game and bought my first Bruins t-shirt. I went back and forth on who to get, because I'm not a huge Bruins fan, or a hockey fan, and so I didn't know who would be good to get on my t-shirt. I was deciding between Samsonov and Thornton. I went with Thornton (even though I was leaning towards Samsonov, though I'm not sure why) because he was the team captain and because his brother goes to BU as a grad student, and I'd met his brother and thought he was very nice so I bet that Thornton was also nice. I paid twenty bucks for that shirt, and I was assured it was a good purchase because Joe was a.) a good guy and b.) a good bet because he was the captain of the team.
I wore the shirt the following Saturday for about six hours.
About a week later, the Bruins traded Joe Thornton to the San Jose Sharks for three young (possibly?) unknown guys.
I don't even want to talk about the disappointment I suddenly felt, even though I'd probably watched Joe Thornton's career as a Bruin for about two hours and twenty minutes, including the one game I had attended a few weeks earlier. But still, I felt cheated. I'd just bought the shirt, how could he be gone already? I lamented my fate until I got a ticket to the next time Joe was in town - that was tonight - and I got all excited to wear my Bruins shirt again (yeah, writing this, I'm not sure why I was so excited to wear a stupid shirt. I think it was just on principle.)
I told everyone I was going to wear my Joe Thornton shirt on January 10th, because that was when he'd return to Boston. Today, while I wore it, people constantly were asking me if I was going to the game and if I was excited to see Thornton. The thing is, I WAS excited, even though it doesn't make much sense.
My excitement lasted approximately four minutes once the game started, because at about that time, Joe Thornton got ejected from the game for a major penalty - boarding. Here's something pathetic: I know so little about hockey that it took me way more than the five minute penalty they gave him (well, in theory) to figure out that he'd actually been ejected. I kept waiting for him to skate back on the ice, when I started to think, "Hey, dumbo, he might have been ejected." I think I was the only person in the entire arena not to realize it. Plus, I had no idea what boarding was. I had to ask about four people before I got the concept. And if you saw the people I was asking to try to explain this to me, you'd realize why I felt pretty bad about my comprehension skills when I couldn't grasp something that was so obvious to all of these... people.
This brings me into another discussion about Bruins fans. Well, take that back. Hockey fans. I'm not telling anyone I'm into hockey. The truth is, I'm not that into it, and plus, the female hockey fans are... scary. Forget their clothing (shudder) and their mullets (laugh slash shudder). The stuff that flew out of the women's mouths, I can't even put in print without shuddering. I'm telling you, I've never heard anything like it. It's like I was afraid I'd get cooties sitting next to some of the women and some men there. (One particularly attractive gentleman wore the t-shirt, "Drink until she looks better." From counting the number of beers he brought back to his section, it looks like the lucky lovely lady was a trainwreck.)
They did make me think of an idea: if you think someone's disgusting, you should take them to a hockey game. Chances are, if they can sit through it without getting one of those "I think I just puked in my mouth" faces, you're dealing with a pretty disgusting person. I think I almost lost my dinner... oh, about twenty times? The worst was when some guy told this San Jose fan to "sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up" and the woman (I think she was one) yelled back that he should eat... umm, something. I'm going to go barf, excuse me.
So anyway, the whole night was a bust. It was fun to go to a game, if you could call it that - the Bruins lost, 6-2, with that second goal coming in the final minute of the whole debacle. It was just a horrible mess. The only reason I went to the game in the first place was to see Joe Thornton play, and that was only for the first four minutes! I spent the rest of the game all upset over the irony of the entire situation and trying to pretend I knew what was happening. The Bruins never got anything good going; the one time it looked like the might have a play, something happened and the teams went to time out and then the Sharks got possession of the puck during a face-off. I don't even think you can write a sentence like that about hockey. I can't tell if my annoyance with the whole thing is because it was truly awful or if I just couldn't understand a single thing.
Also, the Sharks fans make this horrible arm motion that looks like a shark's jaws during the most random moments ever. Like, I'd think they'd do this thing when, oh, say, the Sharks got a goal, right? Nope. Just at total random moments, the hands start going. Something's off in San Jose. Plus - and almost up there with no Thornton - they didn't even have one fight the whole night. The one fun thing in hockey, and the officials (or are they referees in hockey? I don't even know) broke up the only potential fight before anyone even threw down their sticks. Total disappointment. Still, it's even scarier to watch hockey fans react when they think a fight even might happen. If you want a harrowing picture of what American society looks like, go to a hockey game or jury duty. I'm telling you.
I'm sending Joe Thornton a bill for my ticket.
I wore the shirt the following Saturday for about six hours.
About a week later, the Bruins traded Joe Thornton to the San Jose Sharks for three young (possibly?) unknown guys.
I don't even want to talk about the disappointment I suddenly felt, even though I'd probably watched Joe Thornton's career as a Bruin for about two hours and twenty minutes, including the one game I had attended a few weeks earlier. But still, I felt cheated. I'd just bought the shirt, how could he be gone already? I lamented my fate until I got a ticket to the next time Joe was in town - that was tonight - and I got all excited to wear my Bruins shirt again (yeah, writing this, I'm not sure why I was so excited to wear a stupid shirt. I think it was just on principle.)
I told everyone I was going to wear my Joe Thornton shirt on January 10th, because that was when he'd return to Boston. Today, while I wore it, people constantly were asking me if I was going to the game and if I was excited to see Thornton. The thing is, I WAS excited, even though it doesn't make much sense.
My excitement lasted approximately four minutes once the game started, because at about that time, Joe Thornton got ejected from the game for a major penalty - boarding. Here's something pathetic: I know so little about hockey that it took me way more than the five minute penalty they gave him (well, in theory) to figure out that he'd actually been ejected. I kept waiting for him to skate back on the ice, when I started to think, "Hey, dumbo, he might have been ejected." I think I was the only person in the entire arena not to realize it. Plus, I had no idea what boarding was. I had to ask about four people before I got the concept. And if you saw the people I was asking to try to explain this to me, you'd realize why I felt pretty bad about my comprehension skills when I couldn't grasp something that was so obvious to all of these... people.
This brings me into another discussion about Bruins fans. Well, take that back. Hockey fans. I'm not telling anyone I'm into hockey. The truth is, I'm not that into it, and plus, the female hockey fans are... scary. Forget their clothing (shudder) and their mullets (laugh slash shudder). The stuff that flew out of the women's mouths, I can't even put in print without shuddering. I'm telling you, I've never heard anything like it. It's like I was afraid I'd get cooties sitting next to some of the women and some men there. (One particularly attractive gentleman wore the t-shirt, "Drink until she looks better." From counting the number of beers he brought back to his section, it looks like the lucky lovely lady was a trainwreck.)
They did make me think of an idea: if you think someone's disgusting, you should take them to a hockey game. Chances are, if they can sit through it without getting one of those "I think I just puked in my mouth" faces, you're dealing with a pretty disgusting person. I think I almost lost my dinner... oh, about twenty times? The worst was when some guy told this San Jose fan to "sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up" and the woman (I think she was one) yelled back that he should eat... umm, something. I'm going to go barf, excuse me.
So anyway, the whole night was a bust. It was fun to go to a game, if you could call it that - the Bruins lost, 6-2, with that second goal coming in the final minute of the whole debacle. It was just a horrible mess. The only reason I went to the game in the first place was to see Joe Thornton play, and that was only for the first four minutes! I spent the rest of the game all upset over the irony of the entire situation and trying to pretend I knew what was happening. The Bruins never got anything good going; the one time it looked like the might have a play, something happened and the teams went to time out and then the Sharks got possession of the puck during a face-off. I don't even think you can write a sentence like that about hockey. I can't tell if my annoyance with the whole thing is because it was truly awful or if I just couldn't understand a single thing.
Also, the Sharks fans make this horrible arm motion that looks like a shark's jaws during the most random moments ever. Like, I'd think they'd do this thing when, oh, say, the Sharks got a goal, right? Nope. Just at total random moments, the hands start going. Something's off in San Jose. Plus - and almost up there with no Thornton - they didn't even have one fight the whole night. The one fun thing in hockey, and the officials (or are they referees in hockey? I don't even know) broke up the only potential fight before anyone even threw down their sticks. Total disappointment. Still, it's even scarier to watch hockey fans react when they think a fight even might happen. If you want a harrowing picture of what American society looks like, go to a hockey game or jury duty. I'm telling you.
I'm sending Joe Thornton a bill for my ticket.
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