Saying Goodbye to THIS Year

Not surprisingly, my favorite moment of this year really isn't a moment, but a whole blur of time that can best be known as October 2004, the month the Red Sox won the World Series and beat the New York Yankees to do it. The moment begins late on a cold October night, when Fenway Park was full of non-believers and Patriots fans, when even the tight security at the Green Monster had let it go for the night, allowing any fan to come to the top of the Fenway world for what they believed would be the final inning of the 2004 season, a disappointment. But suddenly, the end really became the beginning, as the Red Sox rallied from down one run, three outs away, and came back to win it all. My favorite moment of the year began when Kevin Millar came out to bat in the bottom of the ninth that Sunday night, the fourth game of the ALCS, and it continued to the fourth game of the World Series, after Keith Foulke softhanded the last toss of the 2004 season to Doug Mientkiewicz. October 2004. Holy shit. Holy shit.

That's the basic idea. There was some ludicrous article written by The Grinch (Dan Shaughnessy) who ordered that at midnight, when the year changes and October 2004 becomes last year, that fans would have to accept that the win has become history. Whatever. I don't care. I'm still going to love every time I think about the extremes of October 2004 (I seriously think I spent more time in bars than in my bed) and the marathon games and ridiculous superstitions (Vicky and I had a serious ten minute conversation about whether changing Red Sox shirts would ruin their chances to win a game - no joke). Tomorrow won't change that. I hope forever won't change that.

I guess in the end, I hope that everyone has a similar memory from 2004. I really hope that all of the people who I think are great can think of something that happened in 2004 that makes them as happy as the Red Sox October 2004 has made me. And, perhaps most importantly, as 2005 arrives in the next few hours, I hope that next year, I'll be able to say the same thing - Red Sox and all. So that's it. I hope the same thing for everyone I really like. Maybe even those I don't like so much.

Except, of course, for the Yankees. And their fans.

The First Guest: The Foley Email

I recently wrote an email to my friends and asked them two questions: If Pinocchio said, "My nose is about to grow," what would happen? And second, if you try to fail, but succeed, which have you done?

Here is what my good friend Elizabeth Foley wrote back:

Monday, December 13, 2004 at 12:55 AM

SHIT. FUCK. COCK. BALLS. it's 12:45 am. the eve of finals week. i'm uneasy. a little nervous. i don't know what to do.

every now and then we come across obstacles in our lives. seemingly insurrmountable obstacles. we find ourselves with questions. questions that we do not know the answers to. its reminiscent of those clips on sesame street when there is a person walking down a hallway with many doors. it's impossibleto know what rewards or terrors are awaiting us on the other side of the door. but still we must choose. and so are the questions we will face this week. we will take tests, quite possibly not knowing the answers to the questions on these tests. but still we must choose our answers, and pray to the higher power (god, or yahweh to our jewish friends) that these answers are right. the consequences of being wrong could be quite damaging. no one wants to be that ass who gets the answers wrong. and so are the questions elana has posed for us this evening.

but still, an answer must be attempted. and so, friends, a venture out in to that vast desert of the unknown, and i attempt an answer. what will happen if pinocchio says "my nose is about to grow"? it is my contention that his nose would grow. if it wasn't otherwise about to grow, the process would have been catalyzed by his dishonesty in this announcement. if it were otherwise about to grow, it would continue to do so. pinnochio never faced consequences for telling the truth, nor did his nose shrink as a result of his honesty. i believe there is no other option in the matter. the boy's nose would grow.

wheh. one down. still a little nervous. but i press on.

if you try to fail, but succeed, what have you done? well elana, i believe the err is in the wording of your question. do you mean succeed to fail, or succeed to do right. for example, if you are presented the mathematical equation 2+2=x and, trying to fail, you answer x=22. you have failed to answer the problem correctly, but succeeded in failing. however, if you answer x=4, you have succeeded in answering the problem correctly, but failed in your mission to fail. you see this question can not be answered, because the question itself can be interpreted in a variety of ways.

ok. i have done my best. i've given it all i've got. if swarms of locusts, or a great flood wipe out the population tomorrow because humans have failed todo right by god (or yahweh to our jewish friends), tell them "i did my best" cause really that's all anyone can do.

best,
alvaro tobar

So much for that idea

It's really my brother's fault. If you want to know the truth, it's really my brother's fault that I haven't had an entry since December 9th. I had this absolutely great idea for him, which I'm still even hesitant to reveal because what if he gets his act together and comes through for me?

Wishful thinking.

Forget it, I'm going to bust him.

Here was my genius idea:

You know how when David Letterman had to have heart surgery, he had some celebrities take over hosting his show for a few weeks? Well, that was going to be my plan, only cut out the whole bit about having heart surgery, having celebrities hosting, and being David Letterman, and you basically have my plan. See, with finals coming up and about a million things to do, I figured I'd have a few guest writers. And I decided to start with my brother, who tells this great story about his fifth grade teacher. I'd introduce his contribution and then offer that anyone else who had a rant or story could share it. Great procrastination strategy for everyone. Plus, it would save me some work and, let's face it, coming up with ideas for these things isn't that easy. I have a whole list of reasons why it's hard to write in one of these things religiously if you're not recording your every action every day. Or if you're not writing down your philosophy on life. If you cut those two things out, finding random things to observe, describe, or complain about - that gets tough after a while. So, honestly, I was looking forward to a (well-deserved?) break.

Alas.

The only good thing to come out of this is that when I mention the thing to my brother, he gets all freaked out that I'm going to yell at him and he runs away. Guilt is phenomenal. I can't tell if he really feels bad or if he just wants to avoid hearing me yell at him. The truth is, I wouldn't even really yell at him even. I'd probably just be like, "You really blew it," and leave it at that. I might glare at him though for effect, I can't promise I wouldn't. It wouldn't be horrible though, and that's my point. Hold on a second. I'll go ask him why he just won't talk to me about it.

So I just went upstairs to ask him about this whole mess. The first thing my sister tells me on my way up is that my brother isn't talking to me. This is interesting. How does it happen that the person who does something wrong then gets the position of being the injured party? I'll have to ask him about that later. It's a great strategy. He's a pretty good master of it.

Anyhow, I yell out to him and he literally crawls to his door to look out at me. He stays on the floor while I ask him about what happened. I mess up though, and I ask him why he never wrote the thing rather than why he runs away. I quickly regroup and ask the correct question. I think I was thrown off because my sister was questioning the validity of this blog in general and asking whether anyone even reads it. Thanks for the vote of confidence there. Jesus. Never look to your family for any real support.

So I continue with my brother, who tells me that it's a mix of guilt and fear when he runs away. My guess is that he doesn't want to be asked again to contribute, because he's not going to write it. He says it's too hard to put anything into words, so he didn't write what I had asked him to. The end.

So that's what happened to this blog. It became too hard to put anything into words. I'd like to write that my brother was lazy and so look what happened, but the truth is, I understand what he was saying.

The Roomus Final Exam 2004

I've been noticing how much everyone is getting hyped up over their upcoming exams. Everyone is running around trying to read whatever books they didn't this past semester, or learn all these concepts about the political systems of some ancient African tribe, or they're trying to memorize the sixteen stages of life for the Australian turtle dove. It hit me, as I was walking in back of a group of BU kids talking about their stress over exams, that nobody is really testing what they should be. Nobody's checking to make sure that people are learning the important information, and therefore, I have a deep fear that nobody's really learning the actual stuff that they can use in life, to benefit themselves and others and, of course, me. So I've decided to make my own final exam. If I ruled the world, or umm, just BU, or even just a class (the realm of power is getting smaller and smaller) then this would be my final exam.

Good luck.

This final exam is composed of multiple choice, true/false, and essay questions.

1. When exiting a building, which door should you use?
A. Whichever door I want. I am the most important person exiting the building; therefore, it is only obvious that others should acquiesce to my whims and wait for me to exit or try to squeeze by me as I make my ceremonious departure.
B. Whichever door someone has held open for me, just enough so that I can squeeeeeeze through and not touch it to hold it for the next person. Sucker!
C. The door that other people are trying to come through. I mean, why make life easy for them?!
D. The door on the right-side. I'm one of the two people in the world that understand this concept.

2. True or False: It is okay to be waiting in a long line at a to-go restaurant and to get to the front of the line only to ask, "Which sandwich has turkey and roast beef but no tuna?" and to proceed to debate the merits of honey mustard vs. spicy mustard with your dining companions, the person taking the order, and the fifty people in back of you who want to murder you at that moment.

3. Short Answer: While walking down the street, if you see someone approaching in the opposite direction, right in your pathway, what is the best way to avoid a collision?

4. True or False: The best place to have a group debate about whether you should eat at Noodle Street or Nud Pob is right in the middle of the street at the corner, right where general traffic converges from about five different streets.

5. In a non-smoking building, where is it proper to have a cigarette?
A. Anywhere I want. I'm tired of all these health nuts who want to breathe clean air. Clean air is overrated.
B. Right outside the entrance, so that everyone who walks in and out of the building can breathe the smoke before the enter or right after they exit.
C. In the doorway. How am I supposed to stand outside and get the thing lit if it's windy? More importantly, my hair will get really messed up if I'm outside too long.
D. Nowhere. Then again, I only know this answer because I don't smoke.

6. In class, when I have a comment to share, I should:
A. Shout it out and talk as long as I want. I don't need to wait for someone to call on me. My opinion matters most - on every subject, even those I have no real idea about.
B. Mutter it, so that only the professor and I can hear. Nobody else is important; my class doesn't need to be in the private conversation between the professor and me, obviously the brightest student in the class.
C. Tell the person next to me, in a loud whisper, so that my neighbor can know how smart I am, and so that he - and everyone around us - cannot hear the teacher to copy notes down, but I won't actually raise my hand because I'm too afraid that I'll get the answer wrong.
D. Don't say anything, because let's face it, is my comment really that worthwhile to the class? Will it really change anybody's life to hear my comment? No.

7. Which of the following is proper behavior at the close of class? (i.e. the minute class ends - 12:50, for example, or 3:20)
A. Ask an in-depth question. This stuff is so fascinating, everyone will want to stick around to hear the professor talk more about the concept that caused them to fight off sleep for the past half hour!
B. Make this the time you finally contribute to the class discussion by listing all of your feelings about every chapter of every book we've covered in class thus far.
C. Ask the professor if he's really sure that there's no class next Friday, and is he positive that he only wants the class to complete the even problems, not the odds as well?
D. Silently seethe as your stupid classmates perform choices A, B, and C, and your professor remains clueless to the ticking clock.

8. True or False: Cutting the sandwich line is okay as long as you only want to get a slice of cheese. And some turkey. Oh, and can you just add one scoop of tuna? And some pickles real quick? Thanks!

9. Short Answer. Describe a situation when it is okay to save an elevator for someone. Your answer should include words such as, "emergency," "blood," "unconscious," and "death."

10. True or False: Uggs are a fashionable form of footwear and can be worn with skirts or jeans, but look especially hot with skin-tight leggings tucked into them.

Pass it in.