What is going ON around here?!?
I know I've sort of taken a sabbatical from this thing, but is it me, or are people out of fucking control around here?
Take parents, for example. These people are so self-righteous. I'm not talking about my parents or your parents or any parents specifically. I'm talking about parents as a species. These people think their offspring are so precious and fragile, it's outrageous. I have a real issue with the pricks who post "Baby on Board" stickers on their car, for example. Those people are true egotists. Do they really think that because they have a precious child that I am supposed to drive more carefully around them? Do they understand that they're implying the inverse there - that because I don't have a crying baby in my car, I must not care if people crash into me all over the place? People think that babies are so special. I don't even know your baby. I like my car better than your baby, so guess what? I'm pretty careful driving ALL OF THE TIME just like every other normal person out there. "Baby on Board" means nothing to me except the driver of that car is a fucking asshole.
I'm not done with parents yet, either. How about the parents that continue to push their children around in strollers when they're approaching middle school? I can't remember if I've covered this topic before, hold on let me check. I don't think so. If I have, a refresher course never hurt anyone. Anyhow, I am so sick of getting out of the way of these stroller parades. It's bad enough that one stroller is now the size of small studio apartment, but how about the ones that have a ten year old smushed into it? You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I once saw a kid in a stroller reading one of those Harry Potter books. And don't think he was some child prodigy or something. If you're two years old reading Harry Potter in a stroller, then I'm impressed. But if you're above the age of five, I don't care if you're reading War and Peace. I'd rather have you spend your time practicing your walking skills and being a normal human being. That's more impressive to me. But anyway, my point is that everyone can blame McDonalds and ice cream for obesity problems in our country, but let's take a hard look at the stroller epidemic we have going on here. I was recently at DisneyWorld and the number of kids who were tall enough to ride Space Mountain but were still being pushed around by their parents was ridiculous. If a dad has to ask his daughter to pick up her feet so he can push her along, guess what princess? Time to lose the wheels.
My next concern took some actual research, because I was certain that I had to be wrong. I had been noticing that sometimes drivers and bike riders were wearing ipod headphones. I thought I had to be missing something, like maybe it was like early on bluetooth/wireless phones when you'd think the person ahead of you was a lunatic talking to himself before you realized he had an earpiece in. So for a few weeks I tried to figure this out. Then I realized, nope, I'm not wrong, these people are just retarded. In what world, really, in what world would someone sit there and be like, "You know what's a good idea? Drowning out all outside sounds while I'm driving in the middle of rush hour traffic?" Really?! And bike riders, when I see that they're wearing headphones, I freak the fuck out. I really do. I have enough problems with bike riders as it is. These people are so self-righteous I want to puke. They weave in and out of their lane, and I'm not just talking about the low-skill level ones who have no business riding a bike outside of down their driveway. I'm talking about the ones that just weave in and out at full speed, just to let the cars know that they ought to give their precious little bike some space. Or when you're about to turn right and a bike rider just comes speeding past you, giving you the stink eye? Really, asshole? I have a green light, slow the fuck down! Anyway, as you can see, my patience with bike riders is minimal at best. Add in that you're going to wear headphones while you weave in and out and cut me off? Umm, absolutely not. Listen, you want to listen to music? Ride in a car with a radio, buddy. Case closed.
And now I have to take on MTV. I think MTV is out of control, and I have to admit that because I watch it, I don't help the situation. But I have a real problem with this trainwreck Teen Mom Amber making more money than I have - combined - throughout my entire teaching career. Seriously, that's how much money she made last year. Are you telling me that some high school dropout oompa loompa who hits her baby daddy and sits around on her couch all day while letting her kid run around the house looking all raggedy is going to hit the Forbes list before I am? Or more realistically, if I see that stupid bitch running around with a Louis Vuitton before I have one, I am going to flip the fuck out. I get the concept behind MTV's teen pregnancy focus, and I honestly think they did a good job showing initially how hard and messy it is to have a kid before you've graduated high school, especially in cases where the teens are struggling with poverty as it is. But when you start changing their situations by giving them so much money just for being in these situations in the first place, then I have a problem with that. Amber should still be crying at her GED counselor's office and trying to keep her job at that nasty tanning salon (and as a side note, if I were her boss at that tanning salon - well, okay now I have to really stretch it and assume that I would hire such a moron, but I'll go there - anyhow, if I were here boss, I would be freaking out that she is bad publicity because she is bright freaking orange. I mean, I would NEVER go to that place, ever, ever, ever if there was a chance that I would be even slightly as orange as Amber. Or if there was a chance that she was the person operating my tanning room). Anyway, MTV should stop running that show with her and the other moms, too. Reality is, other teen moms, you had the baby and now you have the problem, but I'm not into seeing them get all these trips everywhere and new apartments and not have to work while I have to report to my job everyday and I didn't get knocked up at 16. I call bullshit.
I also have an issue with MTV and Jersey Shore. For the similar reasons as listed above, I don't think MTV should be paying these freaks all this money. But beyond that, I think they shouldn't show the faces of the girls labeled "Grenades." What I mean is this. The boys take these girls back to their house, with the assumption that they're going to get laid. They then make the next ten minutes of the show essentially a comedy of how they start realizing that the girls they thought were hot at the bar are actually really ugly, and how are they going to deal with that? Or they have one hot girl and one "grenade" and they have to figure out how one of the boys can bang the hot chick while not setting off the grenade and blowing up the whole spot. The key thing here is that MTV arranges the segment so the viewer is watching the story unfold while it is being narrated in separate interviews with the guys, that happen at a later point. Essentially, the guys are telling the story of the night - and totally being awful to the "grenade" in the process - while we're watching their story play out. So you get the idea. Now let me get serious for a second. I understand that the girls who agree to go back to the house have to sign a consent to be filmed, so I get that we're not starting with Einsteins or girls with high integrity as it is. I mean, you sign a consent to be filmed while a guy makes his moves on you, well, sometimes I think I should find better defendants. But regardless, I have a real issue with MTV then showing these guys absolutely rip apart these girls. They say such mean things about them that if I were that girl who had gone home with them, then knew I was going to be on the show and tuned in, I would be horrified. Now look, some people who disagree with me say that a girl who is willing to be filmed in even the known circumstances - you're going home with a guy from a bar at 2 am, you're in a hot tub with him, you're now in his bedroom, all with cameras around - deserves what she gets. And I agree with that, to a point. I agree that listen, you're going to be humiliated watching all that unfold on camera. But when you become the butt of the joke- when you're the girl they're calling ugly and fat and annoying - then you're watching something else entirely... and you didn't sign up for that. Can you imagine how humiliating THAT must be for the girl? Maybe it's become I'm a teacher, but with all this bullying stuff going on and how much I read about kids who are picked on or harassed, how are we promoting this? Like my middle school kids love this show and love the guys on it. I hate to sound like a real adult here, but what are they learning? Is anybody else concerned about this? Probably not.
Anyway, these are some of the things that have me wondering what the fuck is going on in the world. Anybody else worried about the 3000 birds that fell out of the sky and the 3000 dead fish that suddenly appeared? I probably have the wrong numbers there but I think someone or something much more powerful than anybody writing a blog might have some similar concerns.
Take parents, for example. These people are so self-righteous. I'm not talking about my parents or your parents or any parents specifically. I'm talking about parents as a species. These people think their offspring are so precious and fragile, it's outrageous. I have a real issue with the pricks who post "Baby on Board" stickers on their car, for example. Those people are true egotists. Do they really think that because they have a precious child that I am supposed to drive more carefully around them? Do they understand that they're implying the inverse there - that because I don't have a crying baby in my car, I must not care if people crash into me all over the place? People think that babies are so special. I don't even know your baby. I like my car better than your baby, so guess what? I'm pretty careful driving ALL OF THE TIME just like every other normal person out there. "Baby on Board" means nothing to me except the driver of that car is a fucking asshole.
I'm not done with parents yet, either. How about the parents that continue to push their children around in strollers when they're approaching middle school? I can't remember if I've covered this topic before, hold on let me check. I don't think so. If I have, a refresher course never hurt anyone. Anyhow, I am so sick of getting out of the way of these stroller parades. It's bad enough that one stroller is now the size of small studio apartment, but how about the ones that have a ten year old smushed into it? You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I once saw a kid in a stroller reading one of those Harry Potter books. And don't think he was some child prodigy or something. If you're two years old reading Harry Potter in a stroller, then I'm impressed. But if you're above the age of five, I don't care if you're reading War and Peace. I'd rather have you spend your time practicing your walking skills and being a normal human being. That's more impressive to me. But anyway, my point is that everyone can blame McDonalds and ice cream for obesity problems in our country, but let's take a hard look at the stroller epidemic we have going on here. I was recently at DisneyWorld and the number of kids who were tall enough to ride Space Mountain but were still being pushed around by their parents was ridiculous. If a dad has to ask his daughter to pick up her feet so he can push her along, guess what princess? Time to lose the wheels.
My next concern took some actual research, because I was certain that I had to be wrong. I had been noticing that sometimes drivers and bike riders were wearing ipod headphones. I thought I had to be missing something, like maybe it was like early on bluetooth/wireless phones when you'd think the person ahead of you was a lunatic talking to himself before you realized he had an earpiece in. So for a few weeks I tried to figure this out. Then I realized, nope, I'm not wrong, these people are just retarded. In what world, really, in what world would someone sit there and be like, "You know what's a good idea? Drowning out all outside sounds while I'm driving in the middle of rush hour traffic?" Really?! And bike riders, when I see that they're wearing headphones, I freak the fuck out. I really do. I have enough problems with bike riders as it is. These people are so self-righteous I want to puke. They weave in and out of their lane, and I'm not just talking about the low-skill level ones who have no business riding a bike outside of down their driveway. I'm talking about the ones that just weave in and out at full speed, just to let the cars know that they ought to give their precious little bike some space. Or when you're about to turn right and a bike rider just comes speeding past you, giving you the stink eye? Really, asshole? I have a green light, slow the fuck down! Anyway, as you can see, my patience with bike riders is minimal at best. Add in that you're going to wear headphones while you weave in and out and cut me off? Umm, absolutely not. Listen, you want to listen to music? Ride in a car with a radio, buddy. Case closed.
And now I have to take on MTV. I think MTV is out of control, and I have to admit that because I watch it, I don't help the situation. But I have a real problem with this trainwreck Teen Mom Amber making more money than I have - combined - throughout my entire teaching career. Seriously, that's how much money she made last year. Are you telling me that some high school dropout oompa loompa who hits her baby daddy and sits around on her couch all day while letting her kid run around the house looking all raggedy is going to hit the Forbes list before I am? Or more realistically, if I see that stupid bitch running around with a Louis Vuitton before I have one, I am going to flip the fuck out. I get the concept behind MTV's teen pregnancy focus, and I honestly think they did a good job showing initially how hard and messy it is to have a kid before you've graduated high school, especially in cases where the teens are struggling with poverty as it is. But when you start changing their situations by giving them so much money just for being in these situations in the first place, then I have a problem with that. Amber should still be crying at her GED counselor's office and trying to keep her job at that nasty tanning salon (and as a side note, if I were her boss at that tanning salon - well, okay now I have to really stretch it and assume that I would hire such a moron, but I'll go there - anyhow, if I were here boss, I would be freaking out that she is bad publicity because she is bright freaking orange. I mean, I would NEVER go to that place, ever, ever, ever if there was a chance that I would be even slightly as orange as Amber. Or if there was a chance that she was the person operating my tanning room). Anyway, MTV should stop running that show with her and the other moms, too. Reality is, other teen moms, you had the baby and now you have the problem, but I'm not into seeing them get all these trips everywhere and new apartments and not have to work while I have to report to my job everyday and I didn't get knocked up at 16. I call bullshit.
I also have an issue with MTV and Jersey Shore. For the similar reasons as listed above, I don't think MTV should be paying these freaks all this money. But beyond that, I think they shouldn't show the faces of the girls labeled "Grenades." What I mean is this. The boys take these girls back to their house, with the assumption that they're going to get laid. They then make the next ten minutes of the show essentially a comedy of how they start realizing that the girls they thought were hot at the bar are actually really ugly, and how are they going to deal with that? Or they have one hot girl and one "grenade" and they have to figure out how one of the boys can bang the hot chick while not setting off the grenade and blowing up the whole spot. The key thing here is that MTV arranges the segment so the viewer is watching the story unfold while it is being narrated in separate interviews with the guys, that happen at a later point. Essentially, the guys are telling the story of the night - and totally being awful to the "grenade" in the process - while we're watching their story play out. So you get the idea. Now let me get serious for a second. I understand that the girls who agree to go back to the house have to sign a consent to be filmed, so I get that we're not starting with Einsteins or girls with high integrity as it is. I mean, you sign a consent to be filmed while a guy makes his moves on you, well, sometimes I think I should find better defendants. But regardless, I have a real issue with MTV then showing these guys absolutely rip apart these girls. They say such mean things about them that if I were that girl who had gone home with them, then knew I was going to be on the show and tuned in, I would be horrified. Now look, some people who disagree with me say that a girl who is willing to be filmed in even the known circumstances - you're going home with a guy from a bar at 2 am, you're in a hot tub with him, you're now in his bedroom, all with cameras around - deserves what she gets. And I agree with that, to a point. I agree that listen, you're going to be humiliated watching all that unfold on camera. But when you become the butt of the joke- when you're the girl they're calling ugly and fat and annoying - then you're watching something else entirely... and you didn't sign up for that. Can you imagine how humiliating THAT must be for the girl? Maybe it's become I'm a teacher, but with all this bullying stuff going on and how much I read about kids who are picked on or harassed, how are we promoting this? Like my middle school kids love this show and love the guys on it. I hate to sound like a real adult here, but what are they learning? Is anybody else concerned about this? Probably not.
Anyway, these are some of the things that have me wondering what the fuck is going on in the world. Anybody else worried about the 3000 birds that fell out of the sky and the 3000 dead fish that suddenly appeared? I probably have the wrong numbers there but I think someone or something much more powerful than anybody writing a blog might have some similar concerns.
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