The Ball Theft
A quick pre-note that has nothing to do with the ball theft:
Have you seen those Blockbuster ads that say that there are no more late fees, with everyone celebrating? Right. Well anyhow, today I went to Blockbuster and rented a movie. I hand the guy my card and he types a few things and then looks up at me. "You have a $2.29 late fee," he says. "Wait!" I said. "I thought all late fees were gone!" I cite the new campaign and everything for some support, but to no avail. "Uhh, no," he says. "This discount doesn't apply to YOU." I almost laughed. I felt like those banners that they unveiled in the commercials should have had an asterisk: "NO LATE FEES***" and then in small print: "Unless you are Elana, and then you still owe late fees." Seriously. This has to be a Blockbuster policy. Somebody there hates me. I'm sure of it.
Back to more important news. The Doug Mientkiewicz Ball Theft:
Before the barrage begins, I need to get a few things out: first, I like Doug Mientkiewicz. I'm not crazy about his name, basically because it takes me like ten extra seconds to type the damn thing, but I like him. I think he's a good guy, a nice guy like the Dauber (minus the drunk driving) who just wants to play hard. Second, and perhaps more importantly, the only reason this debate can even take place is because THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES.
That said, Doug Mientkiewicz has got to give the baseball back. It's that simple. Here are the counterarguments, courtesy of the Mr. and Mrs.: possession is nine-tenths of the law and there's precedent for private ownership of significant baseballs. Oh, and, the struggling family could use the money to put in a college fund for Junior Minky.
Let's paint the picture for a moment (I loooove this part!). Keith Foulke takes the ball. Tosses to Mientkiewicz. Blur here, when time really stops and everyone in the world focuses on the fact that the Red Sox just won the World Series.
Well, everyone, it seems, except Doug Mientkiewicz, who made sure to keep his glove tightly closed around the baseball, who remembered to store it safely in his locker before the champagne showers, and whose wife's first words to him were, "Where's my Bentle- I mean, the baseball?" Everyone except Doug Mientkiewicz spent the following morning with their family and friends, with all of the Red Sox fans who couldn't wait to congratulate their heroes. While even Pedro Martinez pretended to be a loyal Red Sox, Doug and his wife went back to Fenway to get the MLB seal on their newfound - and self-described - "retiremend fund." While the rest of his teammates waved to fans from parade floats and thought about how much happiness they had brought to the city (hell, even clueless Manny Ramirez came up with an editorial gem about how happy the fans made him), I can only imagine what Doug was thinking behind his moviestar smile: "Hahahaha suckers! You've all been waiting 86 years for a championship, I've been here two and a half months, played about thirty minutes total, and I've got the most important part of Red Sox history back in my safe-deposit box!"
In the end, what made "ballgate" so horrendous a crime against everything Red Sox (and ps - why does everything have to have "gate" added to it? Did I miss the mandatory -gate memo? Give me a break already. Someone should declare a freakin gategate just to get over the stupid phenomenon), what made the case so clearly against Doug, was the calculation involved in every move. I mean, think back to that pigpile in St. Louis, with all of the Red Sox celebrating around each other. Jason Varitek, kneeling on the ground, overcome with emotion. David Ortiz and Kevin Millar, Doug's fellow first base mates had their arms free from clinching baseball gloves to bearhug their teammates. Kathryn Nixon, Karen Varitek, even Shonda Schilling rushed the field to congratulate their husbands. Jodi Mientkiewicz asked her husband where the ball was. It was like they had this emergency plan for when his team won the World Series, just like an escape route: Grab the ball, hold the glove, I'll get the purse. Ridiculous, really.
And what kills me even more is that it isn't like Jason Varitek or Tim Wakefield got the ball, guys who had been with the Sox and really given a lot to the Red Sox and Boston community. Nah. Let Doug take it, a fresh Red Sox, who hasn't even played a full season with the team, whose last name fans are still trying to learn how to spell and pronounce. The truth is, the guys who really deserved to keep most of the valuables - and who actually owned ten tenths of them - didn't: Curt Schilling and Derek Lowe donated game gear, Orlando Cabrera gave the glove he had used for the entire postseason. There are more, and you know what actually, I'm going to look up what was donated. Hold on a second.
Here's the list, courtesy of the Baseball Hall of Fame website: Red Sox jersey worn by pitcher Derek Lowe, 2004 WS; Red Sox cap worn by Pedro Martinez, 2004 WS, Game 3 winner; Red Sox cap Johnny Damon, 2004 WS Game 4; Bat used by Johnny Damon, 2004 WS Game 4; Bat used by Manny Ramirez, 2004 WS MVP; Glove used by Orlando Cabrera during 2004 WS; Spikes worn by Curt Schilling during 2004 WS, Game 2; Spikes worn Keith Foulke during 2004 WS; Red Sox home jersey worn by David Ortiz during the 2004 WS.
Nothing from Doug Mientkiewicz. I wonder if it's because he and Jodi are planning to fund not just Junior through college, but all of the little Minkys, so they decided to keep everything - even the folding chair from the clubhouse - or whether it was just because nobody really was interested in any keepsakes from a guy who had been with the Sox for not even three months. Nobody knows.
The bottomline is, there's just no excuse for Doug or Jodi Mientkiewicz. It's just plain insulting to say that he needs to fund his kids' college education when he's making more money in a year than most Americans will make in their lifetime. Now, after he's taken considerable heat for his statements, he's backed off and said it was all just a joke. I want to believe him, and part of me knows that Shaughnessy must have taken some of his jokes and made them seem like serious, defensive statements. I get that. But at the same time, the fact that there has to even be this huge debate between Mientkiewicz and the Sox just doesn't feel right. The solution seems simple to me: Mientkiewicz returns the baseball and pays for Junior's college with the bonus he received from winning the Series - which he was fortunate to be a part of. Bottom line is, the longer this thing goes on, the uglier it gets.
The only person I can think of who could possibly feel good about this whole thing is Kevin Millar. Suddenly, not only has everybody stopped complaining about his supposed lack of defensive skills at first base and started hoping for his return in 2005, but those Kentucky Fried commercials aren't looking so bad either.
Have you seen those Blockbuster ads that say that there are no more late fees, with everyone celebrating? Right. Well anyhow, today I went to Blockbuster and rented a movie. I hand the guy my card and he types a few things and then looks up at me. "You have a $2.29 late fee," he says. "Wait!" I said. "I thought all late fees were gone!" I cite the new campaign and everything for some support, but to no avail. "Uhh, no," he says. "This discount doesn't apply to YOU." I almost laughed. I felt like those banners that they unveiled in the commercials should have had an asterisk: "NO LATE FEES***" and then in small print: "Unless you are Elana, and then you still owe late fees." Seriously. This has to be a Blockbuster policy. Somebody there hates me. I'm sure of it.
Back to more important news. The Doug Mientkiewicz Ball Theft:
Before the barrage begins, I need to get a few things out: first, I like Doug Mientkiewicz. I'm not crazy about his name, basically because it takes me like ten extra seconds to type the damn thing, but I like him. I think he's a good guy, a nice guy like the Dauber (minus the drunk driving) who just wants to play hard. Second, and perhaps more importantly, the only reason this debate can even take place is because THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES.
That said, Doug Mientkiewicz has got to give the baseball back. It's that simple. Here are the counterarguments, courtesy of the Mr. and Mrs.: possession is nine-tenths of the law and there's precedent for private ownership of significant baseballs. Oh, and, the struggling family could use the money to put in a college fund for Junior Minky.
Let's paint the picture for a moment (I loooove this part!). Keith Foulke takes the ball. Tosses to Mientkiewicz. Blur here, when time really stops and everyone in the world focuses on the fact that the Red Sox just won the World Series.
Well, everyone, it seems, except Doug Mientkiewicz, who made sure to keep his glove tightly closed around the baseball, who remembered to store it safely in his locker before the champagne showers, and whose wife's first words to him were, "Where's my Bentle- I mean, the baseball?" Everyone except Doug Mientkiewicz spent the following morning with their family and friends, with all of the Red Sox fans who couldn't wait to congratulate their heroes. While even Pedro Martinez pretended to be a loyal Red Sox, Doug and his wife went back to Fenway to get the MLB seal on their newfound - and self-described - "retiremend fund." While the rest of his teammates waved to fans from parade floats and thought about how much happiness they had brought to the city (hell, even clueless Manny Ramirez came up with an editorial gem about how happy the fans made him), I can only imagine what Doug was thinking behind his moviestar smile: "Hahahaha suckers! You've all been waiting 86 years for a championship, I've been here two and a half months, played about thirty minutes total, and I've got the most important part of Red Sox history back in my safe-deposit box!"
In the end, what made "ballgate" so horrendous a crime against everything Red Sox (and ps - why does everything have to have "gate" added to it? Did I miss the mandatory -gate memo? Give me a break already. Someone should declare a freakin gategate just to get over the stupid phenomenon), what made the case so clearly against Doug, was the calculation involved in every move. I mean, think back to that pigpile in St. Louis, with all of the Red Sox celebrating around each other. Jason Varitek, kneeling on the ground, overcome with emotion. David Ortiz and Kevin Millar, Doug's fellow first base mates had their arms free from clinching baseball gloves to bearhug their teammates. Kathryn Nixon, Karen Varitek, even Shonda Schilling rushed the field to congratulate their husbands. Jodi Mientkiewicz asked her husband where the ball was. It was like they had this emergency plan for when his team won the World Series, just like an escape route: Grab the ball, hold the glove, I'll get the purse. Ridiculous, really.
And what kills me even more is that it isn't like Jason Varitek or Tim Wakefield got the ball, guys who had been with the Sox and really given a lot to the Red Sox and Boston community. Nah. Let Doug take it, a fresh Red Sox, who hasn't even played a full season with the team, whose last name fans are still trying to learn how to spell and pronounce. The truth is, the guys who really deserved to keep most of the valuables - and who actually owned ten tenths of them - didn't: Curt Schilling and Derek Lowe donated game gear, Orlando Cabrera gave the glove he had used for the entire postseason. There are more, and you know what actually, I'm going to look up what was donated. Hold on a second.
Here's the list, courtesy of the Baseball Hall of Fame website: Red Sox jersey worn by pitcher Derek Lowe, 2004 WS; Red Sox cap worn by Pedro Martinez, 2004 WS, Game 3 winner; Red Sox cap Johnny Damon, 2004 WS Game 4; Bat used by Johnny Damon, 2004 WS Game 4; Bat used by Manny Ramirez, 2004 WS MVP; Glove used by Orlando Cabrera during 2004 WS; Spikes worn by Curt Schilling during 2004 WS, Game 2; Spikes worn Keith Foulke during 2004 WS; Red Sox home jersey worn by David Ortiz during the 2004 WS.
Nothing from Doug Mientkiewicz. I wonder if it's because he and Jodi are planning to fund not just Junior through college, but all of the little Minkys, so they decided to keep everything - even the folding chair from the clubhouse - or whether it was just because nobody really was interested in any keepsakes from a guy who had been with the Sox for not even three months. Nobody knows.
The bottomline is, there's just no excuse for Doug or Jodi Mientkiewicz. It's just plain insulting to say that he needs to fund his kids' college education when he's making more money in a year than most Americans will make in their lifetime. Now, after he's taken considerable heat for his statements, he's backed off and said it was all just a joke. I want to believe him, and part of me knows that Shaughnessy must have taken some of his jokes and made them seem like serious, defensive statements. I get that. But at the same time, the fact that there has to even be this huge debate between Mientkiewicz and the Sox just doesn't feel right. The solution seems simple to me: Mientkiewicz returns the baseball and pays for Junior's college with the bonus he received from winning the Series - which he was fortunate to be a part of. Bottom line is, the longer this thing goes on, the uglier it gets.
The only person I can think of who could possibly feel good about this whole thing is Kevin Millar. Suddenly, not only has everybody stopped complaining about his supposed lack of defensive skills at first base and started hoping for his return in 2005, but those Kentucky Fried commercials aren't looking so bad either.
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