Smile?!

Every time I walk by this guy at work, he says, like he's ordering or reminding me, "Smile!"

It drives me nuts.

I try to be friendly and all. I really do. And I try to smile. But when someone tells you to smile, it's probably the last thing you want to do. You really want to just jam a fork into their eye, or something equivalent.

Actually, when you think about it, you never want to do anything once someone tells you to do it. I remember a few years ago, I was at home, and I was really tired. It was about midnight, and my mom was like, "I think it's bedtime, no?" Now, look, I was about thirty seconds from going to bed, but just because my mother had the audacity to tell her 20-year-old daughter to go to bed, I decided to stay up. I stayed up for thirty painstaking minutes, just to get my point across.

Well, it's almost the same thing. I'm just not going to smile when I see this guy. In fact, I might frown, just to really get him going. What's he going to do then, huh? That will teach him.

Since when do people feel like it's okay to dictate facial expression? I don't tell him, "Get that dumb look off your face," do I? No. I say it silently. God, since when do people not learn proper etiquette?!?!

Don't answer that.